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Cyber-Bullying: Has it gone too far?
Valefor.Sehachan
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 13:26:55
He creates an army of trail accounts (all Galka's) to follow me in all zones That sounds kinda amusing, why's that an issue?
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1008
By Bahamut.Cantontai 2013-04-14 13:41:43
I'd also like to discuss some in-game bullying that's happened to me. There's this dude named Bekisa, has been bothering me for about a year. Real piece of work. Helps me farm relic items, gives me fishing tips, randomly sends me a tell one day threatening to let a Behemoth Tongue drop to the ground if I don't hurry out there and lot it for free.
And it doesn't stop there.
I went on vacation once, and this creep bought stuff I needed from the AH because the price dropped, and then held it for me until I got back. When I asked them what their deal was they said it was no problem, they would do it any time.
So if you see this Taru in game, watch out.
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 13:45:15
Disagreeing=/=picking on someone. Personally, I told him off cause he shifted the topic to me, which irritated me. Also, does your avatar have a penis? It's a love tool
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Bahamut.Bekisa
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 596
By Bahamut.Bekisa 2013-04-14 13:48:10
Bahamut.Cantontai said: »I'd also like to discuss some in-game bullying that's happened to me. There's this dude named Bekisa, has been bothering me for about a year. Real piece of work. Helps me farm relic items, gives me fishing tips, randomly sends me a tell one day threatening to let a Behemoth Tongue drop to the ground if I don't hurry out there and lot it for free.
And it doesn't stop there.
I went on vacation once, and this creep bought stuff I needed from the AH because the price dropped, and then held it for me until I got back. When I asked them what their deal was they said it was no problem, they would do it any time.
So if you see this Taru in game, watch out.

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Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1008
By Bahamut.Cantontai 2013-04-14 13:55:21
Bahamut.Cantontai said: »I'd also like to discuss some in-game bullying that's happened to me. There's this dude named Bekisa, has been bothering me for about a year. Real piece of work. Helps me farm relic items, gives me fishing tips, randomly sends me a tell one day threatening to let a Behemoth Tongue drop to the ground if I don't hurry out there and lot it for free.
And it doesn't stop there.
I went on vacation once, and this creep bought stuff I needed from the AH because the price dropped, and then held it for me until I got back. When I asked them what their deal was they said it was no problem, they would do it any time.
So if you see this Taru in game, watch out.


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Bahamut.Cuelebra
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 778
By Bahamut.Cuelebra 2013-04-14 14:00:11
Bahamut.Cantontai said: »I'd also like to discuss some in-game bullying that's happened to me. There's this dude named Bekisa, has been bothering me for about a year.
Yeah I know the biotch! He threatened me in Neo-Nyzul Isle tons of times! Even went as far as to yell at me on skype!!
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By Lye 2013-04-14 14:01:20
A lot of bullying stories are so cliche.
It's the "big dumb guy" picking on the "little smart kid."
What the most people don't see is that when the "little smart kid" makes a remark in front of the class about the "big dumb kid," and everyone laughs, the big dumb kid feels bullied too.
It's sad how many people claiming to have been "bullied" will maintain that it was done to them for "no reason!"
It's not impossible, but really? Think hard....
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In children's stories that don't have "bullies," there's usually an authoritarian villain.
If children all have a common fear, it's hard for them to build themselves up picking on one another.
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By Lye 2013-04-14 14:08:24
Isn't that the basis for bootcamp? Officers beat-em-down so they'll build eachother up as a unit?
Lakshmi.Watusa
Server: Lakshmi
Game: FFXI
Posts: 702
By Lakshmi.Watusa 2013-04-14 14:25:23
I got bullied here or there, but one moment stuck out in my mind. My 'unbalanced' father gave me a ..weapon once when some kids stole my bike.
Told me to get it back. I cried, dropped that ***and ran back outside. The kids got bored and left my stuff. Got it back, no hassle.
I know it's not everyone, but that's one a few different memories for me where you realize that sticking up for yourself is one thing and going beyond to terrorize is another. My father liked to terrorize. No thanks :3
I'm going to teach my kids to pick their battles. Be smart.
Yes stick up for yourself. Don't be dumb though. Size does matter, and if you ever have actually scrapped [and sometimes gotten your *** kicked] you'd know it. It's not a disney movie out there, and the hero doesn't always get the last uppercut at the prom.
But we all come to this differently, and we all have our own approaches I suppose.
Your dad's an alpha, that's not "terrorizing." Call me insensitive but if people would stop acting like little ***, there wouldn't be so much bullying anymore. Today's bullying is pathetic, getting trolled over Facebook and killing yourself for it. This generation has lost all self-respect.
You don't need to be a "big guy" to stick up for yourself.
By Zyla 2013-04-14 14:27:51
it's not always the victim being all depressed and "woe is me". quite often it's the victim being scared to death. why? because they might not be sure they'll even live another day, cause some douche grabs about 5 of his friends and decides they want to pound on you for shits and giggles everyday. so what then? ignore it? sure you try ignoring the fist connecting with your face repeatedly, lemme know how that works out for ya. resort to the authorities? ok that works for about a day, then they bring even more ppl the next time and beat you worse for "being a snitch". this isn't always an issue with the victims mental capacity to endure and come to terms with stressful situations.
and also, who says the bully has to be fundamentally lacking anything. some ppl are just that cruel that they derive joy and entertainment from making those weaker than themselves live in fear. in situations like these telling someone to "get over it" or "just deal with it" is actually just enabling said bully to continue doing so at their leisure as nothing will be done to them anyways. furthermore this is what can lead to these bullies becoming murderers, if they get away with it long enough it can escalate into a much more serious issue. they end up acquiring a mentality that they can't be touched cause everyone has ignored their transgressions. not saying this is always the case, but the human mind is a complex thing and within certain individuals being left to their own devices w/o consequence can lead to the triggering of a very unhealthy and dangerous mental state.
as for non physical bullying, yea there is a point where ppl just need to get the hell over it. "they called me this" or "this person said this about me" can get pretty redundant very quickly. this type of stuff ppl really do need to learn how to ignore. some of it though can't really be ignored, and can leave long term emotional and mental scars that can drag a person down for years into their futures. it's not an issue of the victim "feeling bad about themselves" or "feeling that they're one who is at fault". if you have it drilled into your head throughout your childhood that you're a weakling/worthless/whatever then quite often that will be the natural disposition said person will feel themselves in for years to come. it's just how the human mind works in most cases.
with all that said, it's still my opinion that capital punishment is the answer. again just my opinions on the issue.
By Lye 2013-04-14 14:28:49
I got bullied here or there, but one moment stuck out in my mind. My 'unbalanced' father gave me a ..weapon once when some kids stole my bike.
Told me to get it back. I cried, dropped that ***and ran back outside. The kids got bored and left my stuff. Got it back, no hassle.
I know it's not everyone, but that's one a few different memories for me where you realize that sticking up for yourself is one thing and going beyond to terrorize is another. My father liked to terrorize. No thanks :3
I'm going to teach my kids to pick their battles. Be smart.
Yes stick up for yourself. Don't be dumb though. Size does matter, and if you ever have actually scrapped [and sometimes gotten your *** kicked] you'd know it. It's not a disney movie out there, and the hero doesn't always get the last uppercut at the prom.
But we all come to this differently, and we all have our own approaches I suppose.
Your dad's an alpha, that's not "terrorizing." Call me insensitive but if people would stop acting like little ***, there wouldn't be so much bullying anymore. Today's bullying is pathetic, getting trolled over Facebook and killing yourself for it. This generation has lost all self-respect.
You don't need to be a "big guy" to stick up for yourself.
Hahaha! Get ready to get "bullied" right out of this thread.
I agree though. At some point, it's not "blaming the victim" to ask the parents of the deceased:
"What parenting strategies did you use to foster children strong enough to tell their parents about their feelings and daily happenings in order to prevent them from.... killing themselves?"
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Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 14:40:24
Bahamut.Cantontai said: »I'd also like to discuss some in-game bullying that's happened to me. There's this dude named Bekisa, has been bothering me for about a year. Real piece of work. Helps me farm relic items, gives me fishing tips, randomly sends me a tell one day threatening to let a Behemoth Tongue drop to the ground if I don't hurry out there and lot it for free. And it doesn't stop there. I went on vacation once, and this creep bought stuff I needed from the AH because the price dropped, and then held it for me until I got back. When I asked them what their deal was they said it was no problem, they would do it any time. So if you see this Taru in game, watch out.  LMMFAO!!
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 5381
By Bahamut.Baconwrap 2013-04-14 14:40:49
Getting trolled over Facebook and killing yourself for it. This generation has lost all self-respect.
You don't need to be a "big guy" to stick up for yourself. The suicide isn't really a light matter, particularly in forced come-outs or excessive bulling. Some of these cyber-bullys create Facebook hate groups specifically to threaten and taunt individuals.
This isn't the story I was looking for. Trying to find the one about the kid from Fort-Worth Texas, but relevant story nonetheless.
Jadin Bell Dead: Gay Oregon Teen Who Hanged Himself Dies After Being Taken Off Life Support
Quote: Family friend Bud Hill, who said he considered Bell his nephew, told the Komo news station that the high school sophomore had been the victim of intense bullying both in person and on the Internet because he was gay.
By Lye 2013-04-14 14:52:19
The answer is to separate ignorant people.
Bad things happen when they get together.
It's almost as though the ignorance compounds........
Cerberus.Pleebo
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9720
By Cerberus.Pleebo 2013-04-14 14:55:10
I got bullied here or there, but one moment stuck out in my mind. My 'unbalanced' father gave me a ..weapon once when some kids stole my bike.
Told me to get it back. I cried, dropped that ***and ran back outside. The kids got bored and left my stuff. Got it back, no hassle.
I know it's not everyone, but that's one a few different memories for me where you realize that sticking up for yourself is one thing and going beyond to terrorize is another. My father liked to terrorize. No thanks :3
I'm going to teach my kids to pick their battles. Be smart.
Yes stick up for yourself. Don't be dumb though. Size does matter, and if you ever have actually scrapped [and sometimes gotten your *** kicked] you'd know it. It's not a disney movie out there, and the hero doesn't always get the last uppercut at the prom.
But we all come to this differently, and we all have our own approaches I suppose.
Your dad's an alpha, that's not "terrorizing." Call me insensitive but if people would stop acting like little ***, there wouldn't be so much bullying anymore. Today's bullying is pathetic, getting trolled over Facebook and killing yourself for it. This generation has lost all self-respect.
You don't need to be a "big guy" to stick up for yourself. It amazes me that people are able to use that phrase seriously and without irony.
Lakshmi.Greggles
Server: Lakshmi
Game: FFXI
Posts: 728
By Lakshmi.Greggles 2013-04-14 14:57:22
The advent of social media has changed the world, no doubt. When I was a kid being bullied at school, I was able to at least get away from the bullying after school by going home, or to my friend's house etc.. It's much harder to get away from it now, what with most everything being able to go viral within hours. Not only would people in your own school see rumors or pictures or what have you, but people you've never even met would see and comment. This is what I see the problem is with social media. I'm not sure how you'd fix it though. You can't just "ignore" the people saying this stuff to you. We all know how simple it would be to make another account just to keep bothering the person in question(and I'm 100% sure that people actually do that just becuase they can).
It sometimes goes much farther than people just saying stuff to you online and you just saying that you can't handle it and offing yourself. Imagine being the girl from this article, getting drunk at a party and then having pictures of yourself naked or having sex posted on Facebook(or whatever social media it was posted on). Imagine the comments that come from people you haven't even met, telling you how horrible of a person you are etc.. After a while, it wears on you. After a while, you don't even know what to do.
Watusa(Not that I don't see what you're trying to say), before you call others little *** for being affected by cyber bullying, please walk a mile in their shoes and imagine what it'd actually be like to be pelted non-stop by verbal abuse 24/7 because of a mistake you made. It's not always that easy to walk out the other side without being affected. Especially if something on the level of what happened to the girl in OP's post happened to you.
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 15:06:26
Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn.
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By Lye 2013-04-14 15:07:15
Imagine being the girl from this article, getting drunk at a party and then having pictures of yourself naked or having sex posted on Facebook(or whatever social media it was posted on). Imagine the comments that come from people you haven't even met, telling you how horrible of a person you are etc..
Hmmm. I can imagine just as many people that would "unfriend" or be disgusted with the poster.
EX: There was a new evolutionary biology professor lecturing a few years ago at my university. He made a joke about the "Darwin Awards" posting silly pictures of some of the scenarios.
A young man raised his hand and said this:
Quote: Clarifying question: Do you find it comical the WAY in which these people lost their lives or do you simply find it comical that they died?
As the shocked professor stammered, the guy said:
Quote: It was a rhetorical question.
And he left.
I can remember it like it was yesterday. You'd be surprised how quickly a situation can change when someone says "This is *** up. Knock it off!"
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Cerberus.Pleebo
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9720
By Cerberus.Pleebo 2013-04-14 15:10:18
Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn. Because not everyone has the same interests as you?
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 5381
By Bahamut.Baconwrap 2013-04-14 15:12:51
Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn.
Learning to fight isn't the solution. I kinda outed myself, inadvertently, at my high school when I wrote an editorial about homophobia and racism at my high school. I consequently got called a ***/*** every day after, and was getting into physical confrontations daily.
There was never a fear/trauma from the bullying itself(in my situation) it was that my Catholic family would find out. That was my greatest fear. Facebook, which didn't exist in my days, would have certainly facilitated my parents finding out.
Fenrir.Camiie
Server: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 817
By Fenrir.Camiie 2013-04-14 15:19:36
actually i beg the differ... there is one common thing in bullying no matter what it is "fear" the question is... "how do you solution that?" how do you channel the fear?
Channel the fear? What is this a shonen manga?
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Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 15:26:10
Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn. Because not everyone has the same interests as you? What does interest have to do w/ knowing how to defend? that's why you cgonna always get your *** beat thinking like that.. declaw a lion and put him in the wild and take a look at the out come. whats the differance w/ a person learning how to defend?? come on lets not be silly...
By Lye 2013-04-14 15:28:40
I dont know. I got kicked out of a club w/ my train pass inside.
5 min into stripping down to the beat in Utsunomiya in December brought a bartender out with my bag!
Never underestimate the power of getting naked.
(damn right it made the christmas letter that year.)
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 15:31:11
Imagine being the girl from this article, getting drunk at a party and then having pictures of yourself naked or having sex posted on Facebook(or whatever social media it was posted on). Imagine the comments that come from people you haven't even met, telling you how horrible of a person you are etc.. After a while, it wears on you. After a while, you don't even know what to do. Let's not paint this up like it was an innocent church girl that was abducted from her home.
-She openly talked about having sex on twitter, facebook, etc.
-She posted pics of herself smoking pot and rolling joints on the backs of naked guys.
-She got drunk at a party and had sex with a bunch of dudes.
-Dudes took pictures.
-Friends saw pictures and made fun of her.
-She blew the rape whistle.
-No one got convicted because she was outed as a ***.
-She killed herself.
Now everyone can hate me.
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Fenrir.Camiie
Server: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 817
By Fenrir.Camiie 2013-04-14 15:31:50
Boxing/martial arts is no guarantee that you'll be able to defend yourself against a physically superior opponent or multiple opponents, and what good does it do you when you're dealing with cyber-bullying anyway? Are you really going to physically attack someone who's not physically attacked you? That's what's commonly referred to as stupid.
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 15:31:57
Bahamut.Baconwrap said: »Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn.
Learning to fight isn't the solution. I kinda outed myself, inadvertently, at my high school when I wrote an editorial about homophobia and racism at my high school. I consequently got called a ***/*** every day after, and was getting into physical confrontations daily.
There was never a fear/trauma from the bullying itself(in my situation) it was that my Catholic family would find out. That was my greatest fear. Facebook, which didn't exist in my days, would have certainly facilitated my parents finding out. I follow you and I get it but truthfully people bother those that are vulnerable that's the god honest truth. They don't both those that they know will look them in the eye and not back down.
Cerberus.Pleebo
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9720
By Cerberus.Pleebo 2013-04-14 15:32:25
Learn to box people im telling you it boosts your confidence and you learn to defend yourself.. i don't understand why that isn't the first thing people would not want to learn. Because not everyone has the same interests as you? What does interest have to do w/ knowing how to defend? that's why you cgonna always get your *** beat thinking like that.. declaw a lion and put him in the wild and take a look at the out come. whats the differance w/ a person learning how to defend?? come on lets not be silly... No, silliness would be me trying to prescribe a single solution to a complex problem just because it may have helped in one particular situation. Not to mention boxing/self-defense does little for those dealing with cyber-bullying.
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http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/pulseofcanada/yahoo-visitors-speak-handle-cyber-bullying-161316862.htmlProsecute them, publicly shame them, teach them and forgive them. The possible ways to handle the growing issue of cyber-bullying are varied and often conflict one another. But one thing is clear, Canadians are upset and passionate about the latest scourge to afflict our country’s youth.
Nova Scotia teen Rehtaeh Parsons took her own life after being sexually abused while drunk and then cyber-bullied over pictures posted online. She was teased, mocked and isolated. And now she is dead. Another young Canadian whose life was ruined by the cruelty of others.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper said it was beyond time we took cyber-bullying more seriously, telling reporters, “Bullying to me has a kind of connotation … of kids misbehaving. What we are dealing with in some of these circumstances is simply criminal activity.”
Canadians, it seems, agree. In a discussion this week, Yahoo! Canada News readers offered constructive suggestions on how to address cyber-bullying. It is too late for Retaeh Parsons, but here are some ideas that could stop it from happening again.
For some, the issue comes right down to a lack of respect and appreciation for one another. Taqrin says parents are not doing enough to teach their children respect. “Problem is, parents are not teaching their kids the meaning of RESPECT and without respect for your fellow man you have nothing,” Taqrin wrote. “Treat others the way you would want them to treat you. With respect.”
Ron P. couldn’t agree more, saying, “Simple: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a tough enough world out there. Try just giving someone a smile.”
Many more commentators agreed. However, West had another tilt on the issue of parenting, saying boundaries needed to be defined for children:
Quote: When my sister and I were kids, we had at least 1 parent home with us 95% of the time. I wasn't allowed to play video games that were rated R, or adult, ditto for watching movies. There were kids we weren't allowed to hang around, there were places we weren't allowed to go.
Parents these days are trying too hard to be the cool parent, not enough of them realize how much harm it can do to be cool parents.
Anna attempted to put herself in the place of parents whose children commit cyber-bullying. She had a tough time:
Quote: My boys ever treat another human the way these two young girls were treated they will know they are embarking down a path their father and I will not support. They will know this through a few of the many, many, many talks we will have with them as they grow up.
I keep coming back to how disappointed I would be in them. I wonder what the parents of the four accused boys are thinking about all of this?
Others joined the online debate more interested in how to deal with acts of cyber-bullying than how to avoid future ones.
Lisa wrote that the justice system was too light on bullies. “Start charging those bullies with manslaughter in some form,” she wrote. “Or have them spend their remaining days going from school to school telling their story to other students of how they bullied someone to death and that bullying is no laughing matter....I was bullied to!”
Elaine agreed, saying, “Put some ‘teeth’ into the law. Cyber-bullying is more than just playing malicious pranks. If a suicide results from the bullying then charge the perpetrators with murder.”
Not everyone was about the justice system. Tnarg felt it was better to handle things personally, writing, “Bullies are always cowards. The best thing to do is to smash them in the face. Then they will leave you alone.”
Of course, in the age of cyber-bullying there are other ways to attack bullies than with violence. Elle sided with the online hackers “Anonymous,” who threatened to release the identities of Parsons’ attackers:
Quote: I've never heard of this ‘Anonymous’ group, but I love you, whomever you are. I say do it, release those cowards’ names. Too many kids are KILLING THEMSELVES over cyber-bullying. Maybe if there's some sort of fear of retaliation for the bullies, they won't bully in the first place. I thought bullying was supposed to be a criminal offence now... what the hell happened to that?
Stiffer penalties, physical violence and online retribution may bring sufferers some immediate gratification, but some question whether it is more than a temporary reprieve from the issue. Will it actually cause cyber-bullying to go away?
Neil doesn’t think so. In his post, he said the only way to address bullying is to understand that something has caused those people to lash out.
He writes:
Quote: Bullying will never end. That is a fact, harsh but true. And the more rules and regulations that are created to stop it will only serve to further enslave us... and they won’t stop the bullying.
In most cases a bully was bullied themselves, and by their very own parents. Try and imagine what it’s like to go home where you’re supposed to feel safe and you get beat up by your drunk father. Or verbally abused. Such a child feels powerless in a hostile environment and they seek to regain that power and sense of security in any way and any place they can.
What I am getting at is that the true cause of bullying goes much deeper than just "bad kids that need to be punished". Because of this you cannot get rid of or treat the problem with rules against bullying. A bully by their very nature is a rule breaker so it won’t help the real problem. Any rules or regulations will only serve as revenge for hurt families... knowing that their injustice is not going without punishment. Who among us dares to look deeper to the cause of bullying? If you do you will see that it will never be abolished... to wish to abolish it is to want to make the world a perfect place and the more you try to control it and manipulate it with rules the less perfect it becomes.
Underneath is my yahoo response (which for w/e reason wouldn't be posted) Quote: Personally, i think Neil is full of shit. I was bullied by my father, even beaten. Some of these kids grow up with a silver spoon up their ***, believing that because they are far superior, they can belittle and demean anyone in any shape or form, without repurcussions. As a victim of bullying, and having done bullying myself, for which i have apologized - you feel helpless. Sometimes the people around you feel helpless and act on survival instincts in a social setting.
I do believe that Harper is half right - there is a negative connotation, but it's not as simple as misbehaving. Bullies instinctively pick out who they percieve to be the weakest target - primarily someone who already has extremely little confidence, or someone who "looks like a victim" before they are a victim. Now, before anyoone gets on me about blaming the victim: Don't bother, because i am not blaming the victim. Victims may not be completely powerless, but what happens with bullying is that they are made to feel powerless infront of their agitators. It could be as simple as wearing your hair a specific way, wearing something that feels good, but looks different.Based on my observations and experiences from both sides of the coin, Bullies tend to be afraid of change more than anyone. They do everything they can to get a reaction, a result, to ridicule, torment, and so forth, in order to keep things the same - They stay on top of the social food chain. The responses by schools with their "Zero Tolerance" policies to bullying is pure garbage - atleast with how it's implimented and acted on. A student who is forced to fight back physically is often seen as "violent" or has "Anger Problems", despite the administration knowing full well that other students with societal behavior problems were involved, and doing the agitating. I mean seriously, wouldn't YOU be upset off as well if someone was degrading you, humiliating you, and NO ONE stepped in to help, when they know they could have?
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