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Cyber-Bullying: Has it gone too far?
Phoenix.Degs
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By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:07:59
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »Bismarck.Bloodrose said: »Well in our current age and use of language, "***" is used as a slang term to more commonly insult a specific group of people, not refer to themselves.
Individuals HAVE to look at what's happening around them, and to them, in order to take stock of the positive and negatives, and they are weighted differently for each person.
I have had quite a few goood experiences in my life during my scholastic years which made surviving some of the more extreme cases of bullying much easier. That said, when you are a victim of daily, constant, extreme amounts and extreme bullying, including physical assaults, threats, defamation of character, and so on, especially in the information age, where it's literally impossible to run away from, you can't escape. Should you be happy that you stil have one good leg to stand on? Sure. But you're still gonna be pissed off someone broke the other, and depressed as hell, atleast for a while, that you lost some mobility. There are also the problems that come associated with a broken leg, even after it's been healed. Nerve and Tissue Damage - since we're going with a broken leg analogy, i'm going to continue with it. The exterior, and much of the interior has healed, but something's still not 100%. You won't notice it at first, but it's there, and it slowly makes itself more apparent with time.
Ever hear the phrase that "There are some things that time cannot erase"? Well, it's true. Especially in the extremes that people have been going to with bullying. You are talking to me like I don't know how it feels.
I do. I just had/have bigger concerns in my life. Like I said, I understand now that most of that unwarranted anger towards someone they didn't know (me) was due to issues that they themselves had. thats not always the case... you can come from a very positive home and a very good life, and still be a rotten little ***
Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 10:09:37
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »You're going to have a hard time with the rest of your life. Not because of your bullies, but because of your attitude.
You're not a bad person, get over it. Nothing they said was true. Nothing they did to you was your fault. It was a kid that didn't have something they needed and therefore tried to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse.
Don't you have goals or something? You're just shrugging it off like it's no big deal, one of the people I talked about earlier. Well, in some cases it is, in mine it was. I said I'm not going into details, so I would appreciate if you would stop with your assumptions about me.
Don't generalize, everyone has had a different story, some lighter, some worse.
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By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:10:03
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »This is your problem. You aren't seeing the good things in your life, only the negatives. I'm glad you found the Nirvana, I haven't. You're going to have a hard time with the rest of your life. Not because of your bullies, but because of your attitude.
You're not a bad person, get over it. Nothing they said was true. Nothing they did to you was your fault. It was a kid that didn't have something they needed and therefore tried to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse.
Don't you have goals or something? Could almost ask you the same question... They way you are talking to her, is very conceded.... You are putting her down and being very argumentative. You could almost say you are being a bully. And I could simply say that you are being overly-sensitive and non-conducive to the answer of their problem.
You are making it ok to be depressed and down on yourself. I am telling them that they aren't a bad person that they simply have a negative attitude about it and that it is very easily solved once you take steps in the right direction.
Bahamut.Genevie
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By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:12:10
And henceforth everyone was cured!
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By Cerberus.Senkyuutai 2013-04-14 10:12:43
Bullies being lower individuals than me does not matter at all to me. Once they've ruined my life where they are now is of 0 importance to me, I care about myself, not if karma got them back. This.
Also, if you are objective about your life, you'll notice that very often the people who bullied you have a much better life than you will ever have.
Luck in life is something very frustrating sometime.
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By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:15:08
You're just shrugging it off like it's no big deal, one of the people I talked about earlier. Well, in some cases it is, in mine it was. I said I'm not going into details, so I would appreciate if you would stop with your assumptions about me.
Don't generalize, everyone has had a different story, some lighter, some worse. I'm not saying it's a not a big deal. I'm saying that it's not some unbeatable monster that you should allow to run your life.
I hope you can let someone in eventually and talk about it, because I think it's going to help.
thats not always the case... you can come from a very positive home and a very good life, and still be a rotten little *** That doesn't mean they aren't lacking something.
It's not that I don't agree with some of the things you've said, I just wanted to say I think people come to the place ~you~ are at, at different times in their life. [That's my assumption that you seem to be in a decent place now.]
I mean.. bullying does tend to start at an age in which children are building themselves up. I can imagine that this takes it's toll in varying degrees.
It's not to say anything you've experienced is "less bad" or "more bad", I'd just tend to think 'different. As far as that whole human experience goes. I understand.
Bismarck.Bloodrose
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By Bismarck.Bloodrose 2013-04-14 10:16:12
What really pisses me off, especially in topics about bullying, are those who shrug it off as "no big deal", for whatever reason, and completely invalidate the way people feel about the issue, their past, and how they felt during the time they were bullied - which is a progenitor towards the laid back attitude people have about not touching the subject.
Bahamut.Genevie
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By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:19:30
Yep!Don't come in here lecturing people on how they should have gotten over it by now, and how it's all their fault for being so negative.If it really was as easy as a few simple steps and it would be amazing.But this is real life and it simply doesn't happen like that.Also those people have 'always' had it far far worse than anyone else, therefore if they have got over it so should everyone else.Wake up!
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Phoenix.Degs
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By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:19:52
Listen guys.... I enjoyed discussing this stuff with you, and I wish you all the best. Im off to clean my sons toy-afied room lol.. Have a great one!
Bahamut.Genevie
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By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:20:24
Have fun :) and a nice Sunday!
Phoenix.Degs
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By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:20:38
Have fun :) and a nice Sunday! To you aswell!
Leviathan.Syagin
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By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 10:21:16
With all the forums I have read on bullying i have to ask... what is your personal opinion on how to stop it? or even reduce it because we all know it's not going anywhere we are primal as human and the life long clique will always exist only the strong survive ... so whats your solution?
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By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:25:03
Yep!Don't come in here lecturing people on how they should have gotten over it by now, and how it's all their fault for being so negative.If it really was as easy as a few simple steps and it would be amazing.But this is real life and it simply doesn't happen like that.Also those people have 'always' had it far far worse than anyone else, therefore if they have got over it so should everyone else.Wake up! I'm going to apologize in the most sincerest manner and assure you that I am not just saying this to hurt you, but I really do think you're an idiot.
Sorry for telling you all to be positive and move on because you aren't as bad as you think you are. I'll let you guys be hard on yourselves and be depressed for the rest of your lives. You're all absolutely right, you suck and should feel bad.
Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 10:31:15
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By Cerberus.Senkyuutai 2013-04-14 10:31:40
Yep!Don't come in here lecturing people on how they should have gotten over it by now, and how it's all their fault for being so negative.If it really was as easy as a few simple steps and it would be amazing.But this is real life and it simply doesn't happen like that.Also those people have 'always' had it far far worse than anyone else, therefore if they have got over it so should everyone else.Wake up! While I understand what you mean and it makes sense, you aren't trying to understand the other side which is the issue here.
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »Yep!Don't come in here lecturing people on how they should have gotten over it by now, and how it's all their fault for being so negative.If it really was as easy as a few simple steps and it would be amazing.But this is real life and it simply doesn't happen like that.Also those people have 'always' had it far far worse than anyone else, therefore if they have got over it so should everyone else.Wake up! I'm going to apologize in the most sincerest manner and assure you that I am not just saying this to hurt you, but I really do think you're an idiot.
Sorry for telling you all to be positive and move on because you aren't as bad as you think you are. I'll let you guys be hard on yourselves and be depressed for the rest of your lives. You're all absolutely right, you suck and should feel bad. What I learned is that people being depressed cannot all be helped. Some don't want to be helped, others just cannot wrap their head around this speficic concept.
Therefore, you have to learn when to not push them too far and just let them deal with it, they'll find a way one day, or not.
With all the forums I have read on bullying i have to ask... what is your personal opinion on how to stop it? or even reduce it because we all know it's not going anywhere we are primal as human and the life long clique will always exist only the strong survive ... so whats your solution? Bullying is part of life, unfortunately. Only advice I can give is to try by all mean to change your life whenever you can, by moving to another place for example, whatever, escape it. Some people can't, some people are too young to do it and so on.
Sometime there is no solution at all and it can't be solved. It's probably the hardest thing to accept, but it is a possibility.
Bahamut.Genevie
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By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:34:46
I do understand the other side.My daughter came through it!My son didn't.This post was actually aimed at one particular poster who actually didn't seem to think there 'was' another side.I'm sorry if I gave the impression I didn't understand the other side.
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By Cerberus.Senkyuutai 2013-04-14 10:37:08
I do understand the other side.My daughter came through it!My son didn't.This post was actually aimed at one particular poster who actually didn't seem to think there 'was' another side.I'm sorry if I gave the impression I didn't understand the other side. Much like some depressed people can't imagine feeling better one day and getting through it, some people trying to help can't imagine someone depressed not being able to get through it one day.
That's why it's so hard to help depressed people sometime, or downright impossible.
Bahamut.Genevie
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By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:38:33
You can help to a degree, but the person has to help themselves too.It's hard work I know lol.
Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 10:39:55
I'm not even being depressed, I merely asked to stop placing assumptions about me. I don't state my problems are bigger than those of others, or that no one can understand, etc, simply Nah~ is too quick to jump to "you're just negative about it".
Fenrir.Camiie
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By Fenrir.Camiie 2013-04-14 10:41:07
With all the forums I have read on bullying i have to ask... what is your personal opinion on how to stop it? or even reduce it because we all know it's not going anywhere we are primal as human and the life long clique will always exist only the strong survive ... so whats your solution?
There is no single solution. Each situation must be taken on an individual basis. That's one of the biggest problems in all this. People act as though every case of bullying can be solved in the same way. Nothing could be further from the truth.
"Oh just punch the bully in the nose!" "Oh just ignore them and they'll go away!" Occasionally those are the answers, but often they don't help at all or end up making things worse.
Not every bully is cut from the same cloth, nor is every victim. We're not dealing with one-dimensional, stock cartoon characters here. The bullies don't all use the same methods or respond in the same way to the same things.
My general recommendation would be to do away with "zero-tolerance" policies and stop punishing (legitimate) victims of bullying alongside their tormentors. Actually investigate the issue and provide support for the victim and punishment AND support for the bully if it's deemed to be needed. Start caring about the kids as individuals and not just meat-bags who get us Federal funds.
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By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:41:43
I'm not even being depressed, I merely asked to stop placing assumptions about me. I don't state my problems are bigger than those of others, or that no one can understand, etc, simply Nah~ is too quick to jump to "you're just negative about it". You are.
I do understand the other side.
You don't.
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Leviathan.Syagin
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By Leviathan.Syagin 2013-04-14 10:50:53
With all the forums I have read on bullying i have to ask... what is your personal opinion on how to stop it? or even reduce it because we all know it's not going anywhere we are primal as human and the life long clique will always exist only the strong survive ... so whats your solution? There is no single solution. Each situation must be taken on an individual basis. That's one of the biggest problems in all this. People act as though every case of bullying can be solved in the same way. Nothing could be further from the truth. "Oh just punch the bully in the nose!" "Oh just ignore them and they'll go away!" Occasionally those are the answers, but often they don't help at all or end up making things worse. Not every bully is cut from the same cloth, nor is every victim. We're not dealing with one-dimensional, stock cartoon characters here. The bullies don't all use the same methods or respond in the same way to the same things. My general recommendation would be to do away with "zero-tolerance" policies and stop punishing (legitimate) victims of bullying alongside their tormentors. Actually investigate the issue and provide support for the victim and punishment AND support for the bully if it's deemed to be needed. Start caring about the kids as individuals and not just meat-bags who get us Federal funds. actually i beg the differ... there is one common thing in bullying no matter what it is "fear" the question is... "how do you solution that?" how do you channel the fear?
By Endtanis 2013-04-14 11:10:09
I don't often post, but I recently found a video that touches on the subject of bullying. I apologize if it's been reposted 1000 times, but I haven't seen it in this thread so I thought I'd share.
YouTube Video Placeholder
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By Odin.Hirokei 2013-04-14 11:28:11
I understand what Nahhhh is saying, but telling someone they're wrong for how they're handling something isn't going to help, and as this goes on he's sounding like an *** about it. Not to mention he doesn't know the story of each individual.
While I agree that people shouldn't dwell on the past, I also understand how it can affect your present. It's not always as simple as "I realize I'm stronger than this, I can move on". It's sometimes more psychological than that. It can feel like it's who you are, rather than a "problem" that can be fixed.
Sylph.Jrpg
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By Sylph.Jrpg 2013-04-14 11:43:59
I wish Nah was around to help prevent all these suicides from bullying. He really would've helped them by telling them to get over it and guilt them for not having done so already.
Seriously, don't act like you know anything of people's situations, or how easy it is to handle what can be a truly debilitating experience for people. I don't even care if I'm putting words in your mouth, because you're the one guilting victims and assuming it's less of a bigger deal than it is.
I was bullied throughout middle school and high school, and I eventually stuck up for myself. I got in trouble, but for the most part they stopped bothering me. I also kinda hung out with the bigger kids too, so that helped. I'd say most of the bullying is behind me; perhaps I "got over it", and I haven't noticed any negative long-term effects from it. I still would've preferred never having to deal with it, and I think bullying should be taken more seriously. Because, you know, suicides and all.
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Lakshmi.Aelius
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By Lakshmi.Aelius 2013-04-14 11:44:56
There's one way to combat cyber-bullying.
Do not put stupid ***on the internet (ie: a video or photo) with your name plastered all over it.
Otherwise, ignore the trolls.
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By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 11:44:57
I understand what Nahhhh is saying, but telling someone they're wrong for how they're handling something isn't going to help, and as this goes on he's sounding like an *** about it. Not to mention he doesn't know the story of each individual.
While I agree that people shouldn't dwell on the past, I also understand how it can affect your present. It's not always as simple as "I realize I'm stronger than this, I can move on". It's sometimes more psychological than that. It can feel like it's who you are, rather than a "problem" that can be fixed. My issues are these:
-It's not how they're handling. They aren't handling at all which is what I see as being wrong.
-I don't know the story because when I have asked they refuse to talk about it yet want people to know that they have the problem obviously if they're talking about it openly and INSISTING that it's some horrible event that is somehow impossible to overcome.
"Look at me I'm sad!"
"Why are you sad?"
"I'm NOT going to talk about it!"
At this point it just looks like they want attention rather than help. They want to cling to it like a crutch and use it as an excuse for why they became how they are instead of stopping and taking time to understand what happened and that's stupid in my eyes.
How are you going to fix the issue you claim to have if your answer is to stay in your shell? If you really didn't want anyone's help with it you wouldn't have even *** brought it up.
Then you have the people that are just circle jerking and really not contributing anything at all. That's a separate thing all together.
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By Odin.Hirokei 2013-04-14 11:48:16
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »I understand what Nahhhh is saying, but telling someone they're wrong for how they're handling something isn't going to help, and as this goes on he's sounding like an *** about it. Not to mention he doesn't know the story of each individual.
While I agree that people shouldn't dwell on the past, I also understand how it can affect your present. It's not always as simple as "I realize I'm stronger than this, I can move on". It's sometimes more psychological than that. It can feel like it's who you are, rather than a "problem" that can be fixed. My issues are these:
-It's not how they're handling. They aren't handling at all which is what I see as being wrong.
-I don't know the story because when I have asked they refuse to talk about it yet want people to know that they have the problem obviously if they're talking about it openly and INSISTING that it's some horrible event that is somehow impossible to overcome.
"Look at me I'm sad!"
"Why are you sad?"
"I'm NOT going to talk about it!"
At this point it just looks like they want attention rather than help. They want to cling to it like a crutch and use it as an excuse for why they became how they are instead of stopping and taking time to understand what happened and that's stupid in my eyes.
How are you going to fix the issue you claim to have if your answer is to stay in your shell? If you really didn't want anyone's help with it you wouldn't have even *** brought it up.
Then you have the people that are just circle jerking and really not contributing anything at all. That's a separate thing all together. How is not wanting to tell a whole internet forum your problems looking for attention? They were giving some insight to how they've had to deal with bullying and the situation isn't as simple to fix as it sounds.
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Valefor.Sehachan
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By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 11:49:21
Get off me, you're an imbecile.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/pulseofcanada/yahoo-visitors-speak-handle-cyber-bullying-161316862.htmlProsecute them, publicly shame them, teach them and forgive them. The possible ways to handle the growing issue of cyber-bullying are varied and often conflict one another. But one thing is clear, Canadians are upset and passionate about the latest scourge to afflict our country’s youth.
Nova Scotia teen Rehtaeh Parsons took her own life after being sexually abused while drunk and then cyber-bullied over pictures posted online. She was teased, mocked and isolated. And now she is dead. Another young Canadian whose life was ruined by the cruelty of others.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper said it was beyond time we took cyber-bullying more seriously, telling reporters, “Bullying to me has a kind of connotation … of kids misbehaving. What we are dealing with in some of these circumstances is simply criminal activity.”
Canadians, it seems, agree. In a discussion this week, Yahoo! Canada News readers offered constructive suggestions on how to address cyber-bullying. It is too late for Retaeh Parsons, but here are some ideas that could stop it from happening again.
For some, the issue comes right down to a lack of respect and appreciation for one another. Taqrin says parents are not doing enough to teach their children respect. “Problem is, parents are not teaching their kids the meaning of RESPECT and without respect for your fellow man you have nothing,” Taqrin wrote. “Treat others the way you would want them to treat you. With respect.”
Ron P. couldn’t agree more, saying, “Simple: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a tough enough world out there. Try just giving someone a smile.”
Many more commentators agreed. However, West had another tilt on the issue of parenting, saying boundaries needed to be defined for children:
Quote: When my sister and I were kids, we had at least 1 parent home with us 95% of the time. I wasn't allowed to play video games that were rated R, or adult, ditto for watching movies. There were kids we weren't allowed to hang around, there were places we weren't allowed to go.
Parents these days are trying too hard to be the cool parent, not enough of them realize how much harm it can do to be cool parents.
Anna attempted to put herself in the place of parents whose children commit cyber-bullying. She had a tough time:
Quote: My boys ever treat another human the way these two young girls were treated they will know they are embarking down a path their father and I will not support. They will know this through a few of the many, many, many talks we will have with them as they grow up.
I keep coming back to how disappointed I would be in them. I wonder what the parents of the four accused boys are thinking about all of this?
Others joined the online debate more interested in how to deal with acts of cyber-bullying than how to avoid future ones.
Lisa wrote that the justice system was too light on bullies. “Start charging those bullies with manslaughter in some form,” she wrote. “Or have them spend their remaining days going from school to school telling their story to other students of how they bullied someone to death and that bullying is no laughing matter....I was bullied to!”
Elaine agreed, saying, “Put some ‘teeth’ into the law. Cyber-bullying is more than just playing malicious pranks. If a suicide results from the bullying then charge the perpetrators with murder.”
Not everyone was about the justice system. Tnarg felt it was better to handle things personally, writing, “Bullies are always cowards. The best thing to do is to smash them in the face. Then they will leave you alone.”
Of course, in the age of cyber-bullying there are other ways to attack bullies than with violence. Elle sided with the online hackers “Anonymous,” who threatened to release the identities of Parsons’ attackers:
Quote: I've never heard of this ‘Anonymous’ group, but I love you, whomever you are. I say do it, release those cowards’ names. Too many kids are KILLING THEMSELVES over cyber-bullying. Maybe if there's some sort of fear of retaliation for the bullies, they won't bully in the first place. I thought bullying was supposed to be a criminal offence now... what the hell happened to that?
Stiffer penalties, physical violence and online retribution may bring sufferers some immediate gratification, but some question whether it is more than a temporary reprieve from the issue. Will it actually cause cyber-bullying to go away?
Neil doesn’t think so. In his post, he said the only way to address bullying is to understand that something has caused those people to lash out.
He writes:
Quote: Bullying will never end. That is a fact, harsh but true. And the more rules and regulations that are created to stop it will only serve to further enslave us... and they won’t stop the bullying.
In most cases a bully was bullied themselves, and by their very own parents. Try and imagine what it’s like to go home where you’re supposed to feel safe and you get beat up by your drunk father. Or verbally abused. Such a child feels powerless in a hostile environment and they seek to regain that power and sense of security in any way and any place they can.
What I am getting at is that the true cause of bullying goes much deeper than just "bad kids that need to be punished". Because of this you cannot get rid of or treat the problem with rules against bullying. A bully by their very nature is a rule breaker so it won’t help the real problem. Any rules or regulations will only serve as revenge for hurt families... knowing that their injustice is not going without punishment. Who among us dares to look deeper to the cause of bullying? If you do you will see that it will never be abolished... to wish to abolish it is to want to make the world a perfect place and the more you try to control it and manipulate it with rules the less perfect it becomes.
Underneath is my yahoo response (which for w/e reason wouldn't be posted) Quote: Personally, i think Neil is full of shit. I was bullied by my father, even beaten. Some of these kids grow up with a silver spoon up their ***, believing that because they are far superior, they can belittle and demean anyone in any shape or form, without repurcussions. As a victim of bullying, and having done bullying myself, for which i have apologized - you feel helpless. Sometimes the people around you feel helpless and act on survival instincts in a social setting.
I do believe that Harper is half right - there is a negative connotation, but it's not as simple as misbehaving. Bullies instinctively pick out who they percieve to be the weakest target - primarily someone who already has extremely little confidence, or someone who "looks like a victim" before they are a victim. Now, before anyoone gets on me about blaming the victim: Don't bother, because i am not blaming the victim. Victims may not be completely powerless, but what happens with bullying is that they are made to feel powerless infront of their agitators. It could be as simple as wearing your hair a specific way, wearing something that feels good, but looks different.Based on my observations and experiences from both sides of the coin, Bullies tend to be afraid of change more than anyone. They do everything they can to get a reaction, a result, to ridicule, torment, and so forth, in order to keep things the same - They stay on top of the social food chain. The responses by schools with their "Zero Tolerance" policies to bullying is pure garbage - atleast with how it's implimented and acted on. A student who is forced to fight back physically is often seen as "violent" or has "Anger Problems", despite the administration knowing full well that other students with societal behavior problems were involved, and doing the agitating. I mean seriously, wouldn't YOU be upset off as well if someone was degrading you, humiliating you, and NO ONE stepped in to help, when they know they could have?
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