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Cyber-Bullying: Has it gone too far?
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 09:37:12
HOW does he sound like a bully.Your criticism isn't in the least bit constructive. 'I'm not picking on you, but'.............. How does he not? It's pretty glaringly obvious that he uses his size to intimidate others. Whether it's a bully or not, he's still doing exactly what he claims to hate.
Valefor.Sehachan
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 09:37:23
I don't feel like talking about it here. But it changed the person I am, I have a lot of issues because of it and therefore it affects me today.
Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 09:37:47
It's not always a 'choice' to stay affected.Some people are better at dealing with things than others.Some can move on and some can't.It's what makes us individuals and it depends on the extent of the bullying.
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:38:06
Its good that you can move on from stuff like that... some people cannot. For some that incident had affected their self esteem, and subsequently their life as they grew up.
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Server: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11417
By Odin.Minefield 2013-04-14 09:38:07
Mental scars run a lot deeper than physical, most of the time. And I don't think *** is a good representation of said-people.
Not all humans are created equal.
Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 09:40:16
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »HOW does he sound like a bully.Your criticism isn't in the least bit constructive. 'I'm not picking on you, but'.............. How does he not? It's pretty glaringly obvious that he uses his size to intimidate others. Whether it's a bully or not, he's still doing exactly what he claims to hate. I'm curious.Did you actually read what he wrote and comprehend it?He mentions nothing about intimidating anyone hes imply said he 'helps'those who have been or are being bullied.If hes a huge guy, he's a huge guy.He cant shrink down in size.If someone feels intimidated it's not his fault lol.
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:40:33
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »HOW does he sound like a bully.Your criticism isn't in the least bit constructive. 'I'm not picking on you, but'.............. How does he not? It's pretty glaringly obvious that he uses his size to intimidate others. Whether it's a bully or not, he's still doing exactly what he claims to hate. Intimidation to protect another person from harm is not being a bully, its courage
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:42:17
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »HOW does he sound like a bully.Your criticism isn't in the least bit constructive. 'I'm not picking on you, but'.............. How does he not? It's pretty glaringly obvious that he uses his size to intimidate others. Whether it's a bully or not, he's still doing exactly what he claims to hate. I'm curious.Did you actually read what he wrote and comprehend it?He mentions nothing about intimidating anyone hes imply said he 'helps'those who have been or are being bullied.If hes a huge guy, he's a huge guy.He cant shrink down in size.If someone feels intimidated it's not his fault lol. It doesnt matter the size of a person... You can be huge and not be able to fight, or you can be small and be a scrapper... it doesnt matter. what does matter is having the courage to stick up for yourself and another when they are in need.
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Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
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Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 09:43:13
Exactly Degs! Hit the nail on the head there mate.
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
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Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:43:49
Exactly Degs! Hit the nail on the head there mate. Thanks!
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 09:43:52
I don't feel like talking about it here. But it changed the person I am, I have a lot of issues because of it and therefore it affects me today. Well I'm sorry to hear that, but you obviously are doing just fine. You have internet and a computer to post on. You have enough money to afford playing a video game. You are obviously pretty decently educated because you can type properly.
You get what I'm saying? There's a lot worse things that could have happened. At least that's how I look at it.
It's not always a 'choice' to stay affected.Some people are better at dealing with things than others.Some can move on and some can't.It's what makes us individuals and it depends on the extent of the bullying. I think some people haven't seen what a "bad life" is and that is why things like this affect them for the rest of their life.
I'm sure their are more extreme cases, but I highly doubt that they are the majority.
Mental scars run a lot deeper than physical, most of the time. And I don't think *** is a good representation of said-people.
Not all humans are created equal. I'll go ahead and stop you right there, because I have a couple of family members that are homosexual and quite a few friends and none of them refer to themselves as "***".
So please put your little feelings away and stop pretending that I just insulted a group as a whole instead of using a word that is commonly used as an insult.
You know what I meant, don't turn it into a hate crime.
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Valefor.Sehachan
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 09:45:32
If I break a leg, sure there's someone somewhere who broke both, but does that mean I should be happy I have a broken leg?
I really hate this kind of superficial thinking.
There might be someone who's had it worse, but that doesn't make me fine.
Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 09:46:45
I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts Nahhhhhhhhh.I think you have many issues you never got over, and this is your forum for venting it.You have been quite argumentitive and seem to be dismissing anyone's reasons for continuing to suffer, because you think they should have got over it.
Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:47:56
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »I don't feel like talking about it here. But it changed the person I am, I have a lot of issues because of it and therefore it affects me today. Well I'm sorry to hear that, but you obviously are doing just fine. You have internet and a computer to post on. You have enough money to afford playing a video game. You are obviously pretty decently educated because you can type properly.
You get what I'm saying? There's a lot worse things that could have happened. At least that's how I look at it.
It's not always a 'choice' to stay affected.Some people are better at dealing with things than others.Some can move on and some can't.It's what makes us individuals and it depends on the extent of the bullying. I think some people haven't seen what a "bad life" is and that is why things like this affect them for the rest of their life.
I'm sure their are more extreme cases, but I highly doubt that they are the majority.
Mental scars run a lot deeper than physical, most of the time. And I don't think *** is a good representation of said-people.
Not all humans are created equal. I'll go ahead and stop you right there, because I have a couple of family members that are homosexual and quite a few friends and none of them refer to themselves as "***".
So please put your little feelings away and stop pretending that I just insulted a group as a whole instead of using a word that is commonly used as an insult.
You know what I meant, don't turn it into a hate crime. Number one.. being able to type on a computer and having a job or money does not mean you are not mentally affected by something in your past..... secondly you cannot simply generalize a "bad life".. each person is going to be affected in a different way. third... no one said you are doing a hate crime... but there are better words you could have used
Server: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11417
By Odin.Minefield 2013-04-14 09:48:44
I was speaking in-general, for the term "***" used to represent some people, calm down there buddy. I could care less if you have friends that are homosexual or not, next time just refer to those bullies as bullies.
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:49:01
I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts Nahhhhhhhhh.I think you have many issues you never got over, and this is your forum for venting it.You have been quite argumentitive and seem to be dismissing anyone's reasons for continuing to suffer, because you think they should have got over it. I really have to agree with you here...
Bismarck.Bloodrose
Server: Bismarck
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Posts: 4322
By Bismarck.Bloodrose 2013-04-14 09:49:40
Being a fairly tall and large person myself, quite a bit of people are intimidated at first glance - I don't carry myself in any intimidating fashion, i'm just big. I get this vibe from Tealsic as well, since that's who you're referring to.
I was eventually my high school's bouncer - if there was a fight across the street, people told me about it. If i showed up, nothing happened. Bullying in the hallways seemed to stop when i was around or travelling through them. Again, i never once carried myself in an intimidating fashion, but it was the only advantage i had at school, and kept much of the bullying i saw to a minimum.
Some guy came to my school's area, threatening some guy i absolutely hated, with a very sharp, very real sword. So i him sit down and talk to me. While at first it pleased me to see this guy who bullied me back in junior high finally get what it's like, I honestly had to talk this guy out of it, and if he didn't, i let him know he'd be going through me.
We don't use our size to intidimate, but it's certainly a helpful tool when we are there to stand up for someone else. Bullies think twice about messing with someone when they know that they won't come away without bruises or worse, whether we intentionally imply it, or keep a close eye on things. What we do, is we let them know we won't tolerate it.
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Quetzalcoatl.Tealsic
Server: Quetzalcoatl
Game: FFXI
Posts: 14
By Quetzalcoatl.Tealsic 2013-04-14 09:52:33
Quetzalcoatl.Tealsic said: »I had to go to the gym, and work my arse off to stop the bullying. Now I spend most my time trying to help others from the bullying. Not many people will continue to run their mouth at the little guys when someone much much bigger stands in the way. I hate this cyber bully sh**. Life isn't FFXI, and your computer isn't an Ochain. This post made me cringe. You sound like you're a bigger douche than you seem to realize.
-You talk about going to the gym and how you stand in for people all the time now.
-You imply that people that you are stopping are always smaller than you.
-You imply again that someone that is talking to you on a computer is somehow always physically inferior to you.
Sounds to me like you are the bully or at the very least a bit delusional. I'm not picking on you, but really man you need to look at how you're speaking because you are just like the people you are talking about.[/quote]
I can see where you can make that out of what I said, so please allow me to put them in a different perspective?
-I wen't to the gym to lose weight, and get more fit to stop most of my bullying.
-I didn't really understand the part about me thinking everyone I stand up too is smaller. Did you mean standing up FOR? If that is the case I just believe everyone needs a little help when it is needed.
-I was simply implying that they weren't invincible. Sorry, I didn't think Aegis would fit in well there.
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Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 09:52:53
If I break a leg, sure there's someone somewhere who broke both, but does that mean I should be happy I have a broken leg?
I really hate this kind of superficial thinking.
There might be someone who's had it worse, but that doesn't make me fine. You shouldn't be happy about having a broken leg, you should be happy about having one that isn't broken.
This is your problem. You aren't seeing the good things in your life, only the negatives. I'm sure there's been a lot of good times for you and I really don't think you're all that bad of a person.
I'm not going to respond to any more of your posts Nahhhhhhhhh.I think you have many issues you never got over, and this is your forum for venting it.You have been quite argumentitive and seem to be dismissing anyone's reasons for continuing to suffer, because you think they should have got over it. Lol, right so they should dwell on it until they commit suicide?
Number one.. being able to type on a computer and having a job or money does not mean you are not mentally affected by something in your past..... secondly you cannot simply generalize a "bad life".. each person is going to be affected in a different way. third... no one said you are doing a hate crime... but there are better words you could have used 1) That's not what I meant.
2) You can when it comes to thinking on the bright side.
3) Don't kid yourself, I know where that leads and I am sorry that I use the word loosely. I don't relate it to homosexuals and therefore don't understand why someone would be offended. My apologies.
Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 09:54:51
I myself like you Bloodrose am a tall individual. Im 6'4 250lbs. But i still got teased in middle school because of my last name... and probably because i shot up like a rocket before anyone else did... Did it bother me that people poked fun at me ... maybe a little, but i turned it around, and joked back at them, and alot of the time, thats how you can make friends... Guys have that kind of banter ... I know that it doesnt work on everyone, but it can.
Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 09:55:24
Resists temptation!
Valefor.Sehachan
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2013-04-14 09:55:30
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »This is your problem. You aren't seeing the good things in your life, only the negatives. I'm glad you found the Nirvana, I haven't.
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Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:00:47
I had my shoes stolen from me when I was a Freshman in HS. I was riding my bike through a development and a group of kids were hanging around this park where i was about to pass... I knew a couple of them from school, but wasnt friends with them... well this one kid comes up to me and says to give him my shoes, while another kid, close to 18 said do it or im going to go get my gun from my house... needless to say i did it.
when I got back home, i told my parents what happened and they called the police. we took the kids to court and they got in some deep ***. after that they never bothered me again... if they saw me they said hi and kept on going....
Bismarck.Bloodrose
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 4322
By Bismarck.Bloodrose 2013-04-14 10:01:52
Well in our current age and use of language, "***" is used as a slang term to more commonly insult a specific group of people, not refer to themselves.
Individuals HAVE to look at what's happening around them, and to them, in order to take stock of the positive and negatives, and they are weighted differently for each person.
I have had quite a few goood experiences in my life during my scholastic years which made surviving some of the more extreme cases of bullying much easier. That said, when you are a victim of daily, constant, extreme amounts and extreme bullying, including physical assaults, threats, defamation of character, and so on, especially in the information age, where it's literally impossible to run away from, you can't escape. Should you be happy that you stil have one good leg to stand on? Sure. But you're still gonna be pissed off someone broke the other, and depressed as hell, atleast for a while, that you lost some mobility. There are also the problems that come associated with a broken leg, even after it's been healed. Nerve and Tissue Damage - since we're going with a broken leg analogy, i'm going to continue with it. The exterior, and much of the interior has healed, but something's still not 100%. You won't notice it at first, but it's there, and it slowly makes itself more apparent with time.
Ever hear the phrase that "There are some things that time cannot erase"? Well, it's true. Especially in the extremes that people have been going to with bullying.
Server: Bismarck
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Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:02:30
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »This is your problem. You aren't seeing the good things in your life, only the negatives. I'm glad you found the Nirvana, I haven't. You're going to have a hard time with the rest of your life. Not because of your bullies, but because of your attitude.
You're not a bad person, get over it. Nothing they said was true. Nothing they did to you was your fault. It was a kid that didn't have something they needed and therefore tried to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse.
Don't you have goals or something?
Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:04:48
I almost feel sometimes, that if two kids are in class, and the teacher knows they have issues with each other... I would almost put them together when group projects were to be done, or if you had to do a lab with a partner. especially if you had to do stuff outside of school too... It might almost get the kids to get along because if they didnt, their grades would be affected
Server: Bismarck
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Posts: 62
By Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2013-04-14 10:06:03
Bismarck.Bloodrose said: »Well in our current age and use of language, "***" is used as a slang term to more commonly insult a specific group of people, not refer to themselves.
Individuals HAVE to look at what's happening around them, and to them, in order to take stock of the positive and negatives, and they are weighted differently for each person.
I have had quite a few goood experiences in my life during my scholastic years which made surviving some of the more extreme cases of bullying much easier. That said, when you are a victim of daily, constant, extreme amounts and extreme bullying, including physical assaults, threats, defamation of character, and so on, especially in the information age, where it's literally impossible to run away from, you can't escape. Should you be happy that you stil have one good leg to stand on? Sure. But you're still gonna be pissed off someone broke the other, and depressed as hell, atleast for a while, that you lost some mobility. There are also the problems that come associated with a broken leg, even after it's been healed. Nerve and Tissue Damage - since we're going with a broken leg analogy, i'm going to continue with it. The exterior, and much of the interior has healed, but something's still not 100%. You won't notice it at first, but it's there, and it slowly makes itself more apparent with time.
Ever hear the phrase that "There are some things that time cannot erase"? Well, it's true. Especially in the extremes that people have been going to with bullying. You are talking to me like I don't know how it feels.
I do. I just had/have bigger concerns in my life. Like I said, I understand now that most of that unwarranted anger towards someone they didn't know (me) was due to issues that they themselves had.
Phoenix.Degs
Server: Phoenix
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Posts: 2448
By Phoenix.Degs 2013-04-14 10:06:58
Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »Bismarck.Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh said: »This is your problem. You aren't seeing the good things in your life, only the negatives. I'm glad you found the Nirvana, I haven't. You're going to have a hard time with the rest of your life. Not because of your bullies, but because of your attitude.
You're not a bad person, get over it. Nothing they said was true. Nothing they did to you was your fault. It was a kid that didn't have something they needed and therefore tried to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse.
Don't you have goals or something? Could almost ask you the same question... They way you are talking to her, is very conceded.... You are putting her down and being very argumentative. You could almost say you are being a bully.
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Bahamut.Genevie
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
Posts: 415
By Bahamut.Genevie 2013-04-14 10:07:43
^
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/pulseofcanada/yahoo-visitors-speak-handle-cyber-bullying-161316862.htmlProsecute them, publicly shame them, teach them and forgive them. The possible ways to handle the growing issue of cyber-bullying are varied and often conflict one another. But one thing is clear, Canadians are upset and passionate about the latest scourge to afflict our country’s youth.
Nova Scotia teen Rehtaeh Parsons took her own life after being sexually abused while drunk and then cyber-bullied over pictures posted online. She was teased, mocked and isolated. And now she is dead. Another young Canadian whose life was ruined by the cruelty of others.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper said it was beyond time we took cyber-bullying more seriously, telling reporters, “Bullying to me has a kind of connotation … of kids misbehaving. What we are dealing with in some of these circumstances is simply criminal activity.”
Canadians, it seems, agree. In a discussion this week, Yahoo! Canada News readers offered constructive suggestions on how to address cyber-bullying. It is too late for Retaeh Parsons, but here are some ideas that could stop it from happening again.
For some, the issue comes right down to a lack of respect and appreciation for one another. Taqrin says parents are not doing enough to teach their children respect. “Problem is, parents are not teaching their kids the meaning of RESPECT and without respect for your fellow man you have nothing,” Taqrin wrote. “Treat others the way you would want them to treat you. With respect.”
Ron P. couldn’t agree more, saying, “Simple: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a tough enough world out there. Try just giving someone a smile.”
Many more commentators agreed. However, West had another tilt on the issue of parenting, saying boundaries needed to be defined for children:
Quote: When my sister and I were kids, we had at least 1 parent home with us 95% of the time. I wasn't allowed to play video games that were rated R, or adult, ditto for watching movies. There were kids we weren't allowed to hang around, there were places we weren't allowed to go.
Parents these days are trying too hard to be the cool parent, not enough of them realize how much harm it can do to be cool parents.
Anna attempted to put herself in the place of parents whose children commit cyber-bullying. She had a tough time:
Quote: My boys ever treat another human the way these two young girls were treated they will know they are embarking down a path their father and I will not support. They will know this through a few of the many, many, many talks we will have with them as they grow up.
I keep coming back to how disappointed I would be in them. I wonder what the parents of the four accused boys are thinking about all of this?
Others joined the online debate more interested in how to deal with acts of cyber-bullying than how to avoid future ones.
Lisa wrote that the justice system was too light on bullies. “Start charging those bullies with manslaughter in some form,” she wrote. “Or have them spend their remaining days going from school to school telling their story to other students of how they bullied someone to death and that bullying is no laughing matter....I was bullied to!”
Elaine agreed, saying, “Put some ‘teeth’ into the law. Cyber-bullying is more than just playing malicious pranks. If a suicide results from the bullying then charge the perpetrators with murder.”
Not everyone was about the justice system. Tnarg felt it was better to handle things personally, writing, “Bullies are always cowards. The best thing to do is to smash them in the face. Then they will leave you alone.”
Of course, in the age of cyber-bullying there are other ways to attack bullies than with violence. Elle sided with the online hackers “Anonymous,” who threatened to release the identities of Parsons’ attackers:
Quote: I've never heard of this ‘Anonymous’ group, but I love you, whomever you are. I say do it, release those cowards’ names. Too many kids are KILLING THEMSELVES over cyber-bullying. Maybe if there's some sort of fear of retaliation for the bullies, they won't bully in the first place. I thought bullying was supposed to be a criminal offence now... what the hell happened to that?
Stiffer penalties, physical violence and online retribution may bring sufferers some immediate gratification, but some question whether it is more than a temporary reprieve from the issue. Will it actually cause cyber-bullying to go away?
Neil doesn’t think so. In his post, he said the only way to address bullying is to understand that something has caused those people to lash out.
He writes:
Quote: Bullying will never end. That is a fact, harsh but true. And the more rules and regulations that are created to stop it will only serve to further enslave us... and they won’t stop the bullying.
In most cases a bully was bullied themselves, and by their very own parents. Try and imagine what it’s like to go home where you’re supposed to feel safe and you get beat up by your drunk father. Or verbally abused. Such a child feels powerless in a hostile environment and they seek to regain that power and sense of security in any way and any place they can.
What I am getting at is that the true cause of bullying goes much deeper than just "bad kids that need to be punished". Because of this you cannot get rid of or treat the problem with rules against bullying. A bully by their very nature is a rule breaker so it won’t help the real problem. Any rules or regulations will only serve as revenge for hurt families... knowing that their injustice is not going without punishment. Who among us dares to look deeper to the cause of bullying? If you do you will see that it will never be abolished... to wish to abolish it is to want to make the world a perfect place and the more you try to control it and manipulate it with rules the less perfect it becomes.
Underneath is my yahoo response (which for w/e reason wouldn't be posted) Quote: Personally, i think Neil is full of shit. I was bullied by my father, even beaten. Some of these kids grow up with a silver spoon up their ***, believing that because they are far superior, they can belittle and demean anyone in any shape or form, without repurcussions. As a victim of bullying, and having done bullying myself, for which i have apologized - you feel helpless. Sometimes the people around you feel helpless and act on survival instincts in a social setting.
I do believe that Harper is half right - there is a negative connotation, but it's not as simple as misbehaving. Bullies instinctively pick out who they percieve to be the weakest target - primarily someone who already has extremely little confidence, or someone who "looks like a victim" before they are a victim. Now, before anyoone gets on me about blaming the victim: Don't bother, because i am not blaming the victim. Victims may not be completely powerless, but what happens with bullying is that they are made to feel powerless infront of their agitators. It could be as simple as wearing your hair a specific way, wearing something that feels good, but looks different.Based on my observations and experiences from both sides of the coin, Bullies tend to be afraid of change more than anyone. They do everything they can to get a reaction, a result, to ridicule, torment, and so forth, in order to keep things the same - They stay on top of the social food chain. The responses by schools with their "Zero Tolerance" policies to bullying is pure garbage - atleast with how it's implimented and acted on. A student who is forced to fight back physically is often seen as "violent" or has "Anger Problems", despite the administration knowing full well that other students with societal behavior problems were involved, and doing the agitating. I mean seriously, wouldn't YOU be upset off as well if someone was degrading you, humiliating you, and NO ONE stepped in to help, when they know they could have?
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