Spanking Of Childrens

Saeki just basically said it as I never could have.. More importantly, kids constantly test what they can and can't get away with.. A lot of times they damn well know and even understand why they aren't to do something, but they're still testing boundaries and do it anyways.. If you just keep up with the 'soft punishment' they'll keep pushing boundaries.. A single spanking can last a year or more easily. As long as they remember you WILL take it to that level if they keep pushing.. Then all you need to do after they push that boundary and continue pushing it when you use other forms of discipline is "Do you want to get whooped?".. Which the answer is always "no", then they act right. I've been accused of 'fear mongering' because of this tactic, but it's not about scaring them to act right, it's about them remember there are consequences and you will use those tactics if necessary.

I see so many people just explain away their kids behavior, just refusing to administer any hard discipline. When i ask them about it they tell me something like "Oh you just need to pick your battles". I think that's crap!

People give their kids too much benefit of the doubt. Most kids will manipulate you however/whenever they can, and you cannot be an effective parent if you put up with that crap. Spanking isn't about being a meenie, its about having rules and consequences for breaking them.

When necessary.

Slipi's got it right. I pushed so many boundaries and I wasn't spanked. OP's story about getting whooped multiple times for smoking could've been me, but instead I had fairly good evidence that I could smoke and eventually my mom wouldn't care and I was right. And now I smoke, 15 seconds after leaving the gym no less.

(I actually don't want to quit; I love smoking).

What was this evidence? Well that I'd gotten away with other things in the past given time and whining or a combination of just general lack of discipline or direction. My mom was a great mom though, and I simply took advantage of the amount of free time given to me.

And while one can argue you can teach your kid the same discipline, not all kids think the same and I don't think something will work nearly as universally as the physical spanking; something we probably instinctually realize is getting knocked off our high horse as kids.

Likewise. Saeki formed my thoughts into words pretty well. After all, raised in the same family. :>

Humans learn through pleasure, repetition and pain right?

I agree with this 100%.

When necessary. I was paddled whenever I acted out of line as a child. Things like smacking my friend Claire and pushing her down because she was lightly teasing me, and things like purposely goading my parents just to goad them warranted this. Generally it was three~four smacks to the bottom with a small ping-pong sized oak paddle.

That said, there are times where tired, frustrated parents lose control. An example would be the time my father was requiring me to write a thank you letter to my aunt. I wrote the letter, and then I asked him how to address the envelope. He said, "Surely you know how to address an envelope! They must have taught you in school." I said, "No, they haven't taught me in school. I don't know how to do it!"

So then he made me sit on the couch until I addressed the envelope. Since I didn't know how to do it, I pretty much sat there for about 20 minutes. At that point I put it on the table and said, "I don't know how to do this, and you aren't helping me, so I'm not going to do it right now."

My father punched me three times in the face and head. Pretty much as hard as he could. He would of hit me more, but my mom heard what was going on, ran in, and grabbed him by the arm. He seriously thought I was goading him, because my older brother had done something similar to this before, but on purpose because he was trying to get out of writing a letter.

That's the kind of thing that borders on abuse and is a loss of control on the parent's part. Any punishment that involves light smacks to the bottom or hand is clearly not the same thing. I do not even remember my last paddling. So when necessary, and perhaps consult the other parent/your spouse, if you are still together/together at the time, to make sure your judgement isn't over the top.

I full time it.

I was a hell raiser. I got my @ss beat. Sometimes beaten to an inch of my life several times. I will be the first to admit I deserved it.

By current legal standards, I was "abused." However, I don't think any parent that raised a kid in the 80's would say I was. I will be the first to say I don't think I was [but I did at the time.] If a slap is a felony [like Flion said earlier] then almost every parent should be a felon.

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I assume tiger is bringing up the other post.

What you should be more worried about, is AT WHAT POINT SHOULD THE GOVERNMENT BE ALLOWED TO INTERFERE IN YOUR LIFE AS A FAMILY AND AS A PARENT?

That's the larger question.

It's never necessary and should be outlawed, less advanced societies just needs to accept that violence isn't an acceptable form of discipline in a civilized society.

Here we go.. Wish I had time to go get some popcorn, but it's bed time..

P.S. In a civilized society people would be free to worship (or not) what they want without someone telling them how stupid they are..

The answer is C.

Go, Slip, go!!!

/cheer

In a civilized society people have the freedom of speech, which includes being able to call somebody stupid when they are being stupid. Faith (by definition) is stupid.

Yes, people have freedom of speech in a civilized society, but it's also civil to not call said person stupid.

Never.

that's subjective

EVERYTHING IS SUBJECTIVE.. Jesus I'm so tired of that, it's such a damned cop out..

You agreed that someone was in the right at a funeral to stand up and shout at everyone to stop talking about God.. That's not civil.. But yet that is free speech.. Quite bluntly, that's just being a ***. There is no page in any book (except maybe yours) where that is even acceptable, much less civil.

Never knew it was polite to call someone stupid.

Well Jet, I think you and your views are stupid. ^^ Have a nice day!

P.S. @ Vyre: I'm sorry that happened to you. ; ; I know all too well what that's like. :{ /hug

Everything isn't subjective, just most things.

Again, most of what is considered civil is subjective.

Beating/using violence against children who can't defend themselves is about as far from civil as you can get.

I think the same of most people who can't comprehend what I say, so continue on.

That last thing you said there is subjective.

Yes because you decide single-handedly what is civil and what is not.. Calling religious people stupid isn't subjective, it's fact, and it's freedom of speech, yet talking about God in a funeral is neither, and people who rudely and disrespectfully interrupt a funeral to make their point on how much they dislike religion is okay/acceptable/civil, also swatting a child on the *** once with an open fist is the same as punching them in the face repeatedly with a closed fist (I can go find the post where you said just that in case you want to try and back track).

Civil isn't what you say it is, civil is what is socially acceptable or justifiable.

There's hardly times when a kid needs to really be spanked. Usually selling all of their video games/consoles/computer/all but 7 outfits of clothes would get the point across.

But sometimes they need it. It's all about control.

i'll spank my future children if they deserve it.
My kids wont get drunk on weekends and wont smoke as long as they live in my house.

Don't worry, Aly. He often posts just to be contrary. "Grain of salt," I say.

/comfort

At some point it's needed.
Children don't understand everything even if you sit down and try to explain it to them.
At some point it is the only effective way to show dominance in the house hold.
No it shouldn't be used all the time, but in some circumstances it is justifiable and more or less the only option.

You'll probably whip them with a hockey stick.. I feel bad for Tiger's kids.

Jet, do you have children? More than likely, you wouldn't know what you would do until that time has arrived. That is why I have kept my mouth shut on the subject. Unless you have children, you should do the same.

No he doesn't have children. We've been over this before with him.. And I've told him his values are very likely going to change if he ever does.. But he says no.. Just like all teenagers think they're right and they have it all figured out.. ***changes quick.