So, was having this debate on whether spanking is still an applicable technique or not in these times on facebook and wanted to drop in and see what XI thought on the matter.
Always
Sometimes
Only when you really feel its necessary
Never
<_< This has been brought up multiple times before, it's almost as bad as religion threads in terms of drama..
It's a last resort, but I don't feel it should be outlawed.. I've only spanked my son a couple of times. I have lots of other methods of 'persuasion' to get him to act right, that usually works.
Besides if you do it all the time, it loses it's effectiveness. They just get used to it.
<_< This has been brought up multiple times before, it's almost as bad as religion threads in terms of drama..
It's a last resort, but I don't feel it should be outlawed.. I've only spanked my son a couple of times. I have lots of other methods of 'persuasion' to get him to act right, that usually works.
The only person who turns it into drama is Jeta. Just pre-emptively topicban him >.>
<_< This has been brought up multiple times before, it's almost as bad as religion threads in terms of drama..
It's a last resort, but I don't feel it should be outlawed.. I've only spanked my son a couple of times. I have lots of other methods of 'persuasion' to get him to act right, that usually works.
The only person who turns it into drama is Jeta. Just pre-emptively topicban him >.>
He's the main one, but he's not the only one, I don't remember what thread it came up in last, but go find it and you'll see there are quite a few others who feel as strongly about it as him and have no problem voicing their opinion and throwing ***around..
He wasn't the only one to accuse me of abusing my child because I do occasionally use physical discipline. According to them, I didn't spank him because other forms of discipline were ineffective, I spanked him because I lost control and blah blah.
Sometimes / alot of times i'll either spank there hands or if they are realy bad i'll spank there butt. If u use a weapon to assist ur spank i think you have gone to far.
It's definitely necessary when you're mouthing off to your parents, especially in public. Only I was smacked across the face, and rarely the ***. Either one works though. No backhand though and not incredibly hard, just enough to get the point across to shut it.
Growing up I got beat all the time for doing stupid ***, and it taught me 2 very valuable lessons in life.
1. Respect your elders and obey all of their rules.
2. If you're going to do something stupid, don't get caught.
So yes I do believe physical punishment is necessary, it helps keep the balance of power in order without all the BS and hassle that just words alone bring.
I remember when I got smoking cigs when I was 12. me and my brother in the back yard. We lived w/ my grandma at the time. We got our *** torn up when we got caught right there on the spot. Then grandma drove us to my dad's house. We got our *** whopped right there again. She drove us to uncle pablo's house on the way home, who also whopped our ***.
I dont believe in spanking, but then again I used to work in daycares and you were never allowed to hit a child there (nor were you even supposed to raise your voice at them) I found, so long as they were old enough to understand it, that calmly explaining what they did was wrong, and why they shouldnt do it was much more effective then just saying dont do that.
I know when I was younger my parents would spank me all the time, and it never really taught me right and wrong, just taught me not to get caught or I'd get punished. Of course Im sure there probably are some cases and children who respond to it and straighten up, and maybe kids just respond different to their parents than a carer (I wouldnt know since I have no children myself), but I never had a problem even with some of the worst kids I had to watch if I just took the time to talk to them one on one...even if it did take a few weeks and some other form of discipline as well.
Only when its necessary.... and it shouldnt be like youre beating the crap out of them, it should be to where you get the point across and they learn a lesson. From personal experience, as a kid you shouldnt be beaten so hard that you piss yourself.
They get warnings first, grounding, corner time, all that jazz...
my kids haven't needed spankings in, oh it's goin on about 4 years now I think.
Things I spank for include, stealing and bullying...that's pretty much it really. I just cannot tolerate either of those things.
I agree spanking should NOT be done all the time and I have to say that when my kids are teens if they ever sneak out of my house without permission (grounded or not) they will probably get a pretty beefy spanking for that and, as they'll be teens by then, I imagine the effect will be much more dramatic.
I think spanking is fine. However, what I find more important to underline is why a child should be spanked, and how they are raised.
I'm a firm believer in spanking if you tell your kid what they did wrong, on several occasions, and they still do not listen. Sometimes, the only way kids will learn is through hard lessons. Often, they test just how far they can go. I think that is one of the failures in parenting today: many parents are afraid to touch their kids and thus let them get away with everything.
I'll give 2 easy examples to demonstrate what I mean:
1) Kid breaks a glass on purpose. Mom told him that he cannot break anything that is not his own. Yet, he refuses and does it again. Mom spanks. Kid likely learns lesson, and his boundaries. He also learns the reason why it is wrong: morals.
(For some kids, the spank is not necessary. But that depends entirely on the child's character.)
2) Kid breaks glass on purpose. Mom gets angry at him, shouts at him not to do that. (notice here, that the REASON for her telling him not to do it is missing, so the child will not understand why it is wrong). Kid will likely not learn his lesson.
My point is that sometimes, kids are smarter than you think and manipulative. They need what I like to call the 3 R's: Rest, Regularity (order), Respect. You telling them where their boundaries lie contributes to this, as well as telling them that they can't get everything the way they want all the time.
Having that said, I do not agree with hitting your child. To me, there is a difference between a spank on the butt, and a hit.
I think spanking is fine. However, what I find more important to underline is why a child should be spanked, and how they are raised.
I'm a firm believer in spanking if you tell your kid what they did wrong, on several occasions, and they still do not listen. Sometimes, the only way kids will learn is through hard lessons. Often, they test just how far they can go. I think that is one of the failures in parenting today: many parents are afraid to touch their kids and thus let them get away with everything.
I'll give 2 easy examples to demonstrate what I mean:
1) Kid breaks a glass on purpose. Mom told him that he cannot break anything that is not his own. Yet, he refuses and does it again. Mom spanks. Kid likely learns lesson, and his boundaries. He also learns the reason why it is wrong: morals.
(For some kids, the spank is not necessary. But that depends entirely on the child's character.)
2) Kid breaks glass on purpose. Mom gets angry at him, shouts at him not to do that. (notice here, that the REASON for her telling him not to do it is missing, so the child will not understand why it is wrong). Kid will likely not learn his lesson.
My point is that sometimes, kids are smarter than you think and manipulative. They need what I like to call the 3 R's: Rest, Regularity (order), Respect. You telling them where their boundaries lie contributes to this, as well as telling them that they can't get everything the way they want all the time.
Having that said, I do not agree with hitting your child. To me, there is a difference between a spank on the butt, and a hit.
So, was having this debate on whether spanking is still an applicable technique or not in these times on facebook and wanted to drop in and see what XI thought on the matter.
Always
Sometimes
Only when you really feel its necessary
Never