Look, as a self diagnosed lady killer, I am a master of taming the opposite sex. Here's a short guide that will have you bedding the closest barrista before you can say "watch out for Willie Nelson, he shaves! THE SHAVING THE SHAVING!"
1) The pick up line. Too oft the pick up line is overlooked. Its been satirized time and time and again as something that is tired, overplayed, and frankly just does not work.
I am here to tell you that it does. Not just 100% of the time either. 60% of the time it works all the time. That's amazing. You don't have to be a mathemagician to whiz kid that one out either.9 times out of 9 times a well placed line will get a girls left hand on the zipper.
Try these:
a) "I can make you feel like I've never had sex before."
b) "What's your sign? Is it yield?"
c) "Get out of my car and into my dreams, baby."
d) "Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?"
e) If you need more, and I doubt you will see
this for an endless supply for endless sex.
2) NEVER forget that the women have the smaller brains. It's easy to trick them into thinking that you know what they want. Mention your fondness for such trifle things as commitment, snuggling, going to the movies, actually listening to what she's saying, etc.
3) Women are only good for three things: "Cooking, cleaning...and vaginas." They try to trick you with their limited wisdom but don't fall for it, you have a Y chromosome after all.
4) CHROMOSOMES. Thats right, the superiority of man is consistent down to the molecular level. Women have TWO X chromosomes...TWO! Isn't that greedy?!? This genetic mutation is responsible for roughly all of your relationship problems. They have it and they still want it. Need further proof? PROSTITUTION. Oldest job in the world and the biggest ripoff. They got it. They sell it. THEY STILL *** GOT IT. Douches.
With the aforementioned you should be banging hard in no time. Just have confidence and remember..."*** AINT ***."
[LEGAL]
This guide was constructed by Sandolphon of the Asura server aka Phone aka The 'Phonz. The majority of the work is compiled and not my own from Beavis & Butthead, Jon Lajoie, Rodney Dangerfield, and Tupac. All of which banged many girls or could have if they weren't cartoons.