Romantically frustrated?

Phoenix.Archeim

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By Phoenix.Archeim 2011-05-26 12:28:57

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Asura.Vyre said:

Phoenix.Archeim said:

Asura.Vyre said:

Bismarck.Josiahfk said:

Yeah that's true the guilt would drive me insane as well. Especially if Spence wanted more and I was still in love with Sevourn I would consider that extremely selfish personally. And it's so easy to hurt Spence like that if I think I've moved on when haven't.

Odin.Liela said:

I do have a problem with rebound relationships, mostly because my dad married on a rebound and consequently made the next 20+ years of his life miserable.

I feel the same, it's terribly dangerous and if I have any friends believing they need that kindof thing I try and help them see how careful they need to be so it doesn't just cause more pain for them or others. The cycle will never end if that behavior isn't cautious Plus we could all wonder at some point about most relationships "was I just a rebound" and feel like crap if you cared about them deeply

This reminds me of my ex. Your whole discussion this page about rebounds. She straight up told me that if she and I did not work out, that she was going to go back to her ex, because while she finds him abhorrent, he's completely devoted. That way she wouldn't have to be alone. Though sometimes I wonder if all the statements of disgust she made about him, sometimes during moments of intimacy, were really just good thoughts about him, and that she was trying to make me feel like I wasn't 2nd place. Relationships sure are interesting.

And the first thing that popped into my head was "That's just pillow talk, baby!" And yes, relationships are interesting. The varied benefits are nice, but for now being single and getting to do what i want when i am not at work is really nice.

I could use a, "Hail to the King, Baby." moment.

I forget which thread it was but I quoted AoD in one when i said "You found me beautiful once. Honey, you got real ugly"

but...

Hail to the King, Baby!

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 13:02:41

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Phoenix.Archeim said:

Asura.Vyre said:

Phoenix.Archeim said:

Asura.Vyre said:

Bismarck.Josiahfk said:

Yeah that's true the guilt would drive me insane as well. Especially if Spence wanted more and I was still in love with Sevourn I would consider that extremely selfish personally. And it's so easy to hurt Spence like that if I think I've moved on when haven't.

Odin.Liela said:

I do have a problem with rebound relationships, mostly because my dad married on a rebound and consequently made the next 20+ years of his life miserable.

I feel the same, it's terribly dangerous and if I have any friends believing they need that kindof thing I try and help them see how careful they need to be so it doesn't just cause more pain for them or others. The cycle will never end if that behavior isn't cautious Plus we could all wonder at some point about most relationships "was I just a rebound" and feel like crap if you cared about them deeply

This reminds me of my ex. Your whole discussion this page about rebounds. She straight up told me that if she and I did not work out, that she was going to go back to her ex, because while she finds him abhorrent, he's completely devoted. That way she wouldn't have to be alone. Though sometimes I wonder if all the statements of disgust she made about him, sometimes during moments of intimacy, were really just good thoughts about him, and that she was trying to make me feel like I wasn't 2nd place. Relationships sure are interesting.

And the first thing that popped into my head was "That's just pillow talk, baby!" And yes, relationships are interesting. The varied benefits are nice, but for now being single and getting to do what i want when i am not at work is really nice.

I could use a, "Hail to the King, Baby." moment.

I forget which thread it was but I quoted AoD in one when i said "You found me beautiful once. Honey, you got real ugly" but... Hail to the King, Baby!

Random thoughts... and angel thought you were calling her ugly for a minute... it was amusing lol...

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 13:12:08

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Relationships are never a sure thing... maybe the girl is going out with the next guy because she thinks hes the next best thing... Maybe in order to try to get over him she needs to see someone else... Sometimes people move on and they're never truly over the "one"... I met a girl and was with her for years and I fell in love with her like no other... the way things worked out I can never be with her ever again... To me she was the "one"... Should I never be with another because I will always have a place in my heart for her? It took me quite awhile before I was even ready to consider moving on...

Thing is you really can't judge others actions as you don't know what is in their hearts... I've seen people try to use others to get back at their ex's and then fall in love with the one they set out to use... Basically, and I think someone mentioned this earliar, the heart usually doesn't even know what it wants until it has it or in some cases until its gone... At one point someone may not want to be with someone but years down the road they may be at the same place then... Maybe theyre with someone else at the time (giving it an honest try even) but just realize that this is the person they truly want to love and give their lives to...

There are so many circumstances and such that anyone could get into and hell other times people are just ***... either way you never really know where some people stand and all relationships are a toss up... You go in and you put your feelings on the line... and over the time you spend together you find out if you want to be with that person or if your really not a good match..

Idk...

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 13:12:53

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Basically give people a chance before you label them as being one way or the other...

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By Phoenix.Archeim 2011-05-26 13:29:09

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Lakshmi.Flavin said:

Basically give people a chance before you label them as being one way or the other...

In retrospect i really wouldnt want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me... i dont care what the reason is. The bit of my history that i relayed earlier in this thread involving a previous girlfriend devastated me at the time... one because i loved her, two because it came out of no where, and three because she didnt even tell me... she just vanished. I think she did me a favor in the long run, even if it was incredibly cruel the way she did it because i like to think that everyone deserves someone that only wants to be with them. (I'm randomly an idealist)

I'm used to being alone, i'm used to feeling alone. It's not a terrible thing... heck it gets to a point that you dont have a fear of rejection, as much as a fear of acceptance.... and then after that... it's waiting for the bomb to drop... "she's gonna leave me" it's just a matter of time.

Love, Attraction, Relationships all make no freaking logical sense. Which i think that's because they defy logic. (which i enjoy doing)

And i felt terrible that angel thought that i was implying that she was ugly... because the only two women on here that i think i've seen pictures of are angel and zarah. Both of which are cutie-pies and seemingly kick *** individuals. They also make me jealous because they are far better looking than i am.

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 14:07:34

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In your situation maybe she did really want to be with you at one point then somewhere a long the way realized you just weren't what she wanted anymroe... harsh truth but yea... You can't really blame her for you falling in love with her and her not feeling the same way in the end, it happens... as for her leaving without a word that would cause me some distress as I would be wondering what happened to her but since you were able to talk to her mother and see that she was ok it would end there with me... maybe its like what you said her mother told you and she just didn't have the heart or maybe courage to tell you... Maybe that should show you that in her own way she cared about you in her own way... or maybe she just didn't want to put herself in an uncomfortable situation idk...

Either way... all of us are unpredictable and do things our own way...

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 14:08:49

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About the Angel thing yea as I recall she said something like she read it through a couple of times and though that than realized what it really was so she knew you weren't talking about her... (I assume)

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By Phoenix.Archeim 2011-05-26 14:23:54

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Lakshmi.Flavin said:

In your situation maybe she did really want to be with you at one point then somewhere a long the way realized you just weren't what she wanted anymroe... harsh truth but yea... You can't really blame her for you falling in love with her and her not feeling the same way in the end, it happens... as for her leaving without a word that would cause me some distress as I would be wondering what happened to her but since you were able to talk to her mother and see that she was ok it would end there with me... maybe its like what you said her mother told you and she just didn't have the heart or maybe courage to tell you... Maybe that should show you that in her own way she cared about you in her own way... or maybe she just didn't want to put herself in an uncomfortable situation idk... Either way... all of us are unpredictable and do things our own way...

The talk with her mom came a year later when i worked up the guts. I got my closure and i wish her well where ever she may be. Me and my friends initially were scared that something happened to her, that she might have gotten killed. (obviously glad she didnt)

Looking back on things now it's funny how the human brain (or at least mine) was ready to jump to any scenario other than "She's just not that into you", though to my defense she really didnt give any indication prior. But if she didnt want to be with me, then it is for the best, because i think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us.

Fortunately it was the girlfriend prior to her that taught me the valuable lesson of "dont co-sign for girlfriend to get cell phone." Because that is $900 i will never see again :)

I think dating relationships exist to teach valuable lessons of how to realize what you are not looking for in a person.

why isnt it 4:30 est yet? I want to go home.

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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2011-05-26 14:37:01

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Phoenix.Archeim said:

Lakshmi.Flavin said:

In your situation maybe she did really want to be with you at one point then somewhere a long the way realized you just weren't what she wanted anymroe... harsh truth but yea... You can't really blame her for you falling in love with her and her not feeling the same way in the end, it happens... as for her leaving without a word that would cause me some distress as I would be wondering what happened to her but since you were able to talk to her mother and see that she was ok it would end there with me... maybe its like what you said her mother told you and she just didn't have the heart or maybe courage to tell you... Maybe that should show you that in her own way she cared about you in her own way... or maybe she just didn't want to put herself in an uncomfortable situation idk... Either way... all of us are unpredictable and do things our own way...

The talk with her mom came a year later when i worked up the guts. I got my closure and i wish her well where ever she may be. Me and my friends initially were scared that something happened to her, that she might have gotten killed. (obviously glad she didnt) Looking back on things now it's funny how the human brain (or at least mine) was ready to jump to any scenario other than "She's just not that into you", though to my defense she really didnt give any indication prior. But if she didnt want to be with me, then it is for the best, because i think we all deserve someone who wants to be with us. Fortunately it was the girlfriend prior to her that taught me the valuable lesson of "dont co-sign for girlfriend to get cell phone." Because that is $900 i will never see again :) I think dating relationships exist to teach valuable lessons of how to realize what you are not looking for in a person. why isnt it 4:30 est yet? I want to go home.

Man a year is a long *** time to not know... I freaked out once after like 4 or 5 days... sadly it was warranted... as for the phone thing I go by the philosophy that you never put money forward/loan or sign a contract in your case, that your not ready to lose... Things happen and people tend to be unreliable at times (though not always)... Money, sadly enough, seems to complicate situations too... I was listening to the radio on the way to work one morning and some divorce atty was saying that 90% of the divorce cases she works on are due to financial arguments between spouses... I can't say that number means much but yeah...