Romantically Frustrated?

Myself. My actions.

I'd think we'd need a full(slightly more detail)story on what had taken place to truly offer you sound advice.

well from what little I know about the situation here goes.... You *** up and because of that and whatever is going on in his life he chose to move on... I can understand that its hard to watch someone you love self-destruct in front of you... as for not being able to forgive yourself, you may not agree with me here or listen, but its pointless... I know from experience. The best thing you can do is clean yourself up and try to fix whatever it is that you gave in to... because I can tell you this as long as that still affects you there's probably not a great chance he will take you back... so my best advice is to take some time and work on yourself while giving him some time to take everything in.. maybe when the dust settles you can start to talk again and maybe from there something or maybe you can just be friends... but yeah its hard not to sit there and be sad and such but if you really want someone back you need to work at it and such...

I wish you the best... I know what its like to lose people you love... I've lost the two closest people to me in my life and I will never get them back. I can tell you this though locking yourself away... feeling bad... losing interest in life... all it will do is waste precious time you have in your life and you'll wake up one day and see how much time has passed... for your own sake find a way to get past this and get help if you need it...

You really don't...

Then I'm afraid I'll have to make due with what I have. I know many people here have malicious intent. I thank you most of you for your words. Notably, Chris.

Who is Chris?

I'm not quite sure how you mean by 'most people'. If anything, I see only one who's joking. If others are sounding mean, they could just be a little more blunt than you might like, but they seem to mean well. Just my opinion though. Ok, back to lurking for now.

Flavin, what you said I understand in my head, but not in my heart. All this has made me realize that if I cling to my addictions, I will continuously lose everything I care about, and gain nothing of value. I'm lucky enough to have some people who are still here for me. Despite how I've deeply wronged all of them. I'm tempted daily to go back to my self-destructive ways, especially in this situation. It will take my heart a while to come around, I only hope I'm a better person as a result of this. Sadly it's all I can hope for.

Here's a question to ask yourself:
Are you as forgiving to others as you are with yourself?
There needs to be a balance...

To forgive others for their wrongs is virtuous.
But to forgive yourself is divine.

If only it was that easy man....

I respect your opinion and the opinions of others. My vulnerability makes me timid and guarded. Also, I'm not blind to most people's lust for gossip and drama, it's human nature.

Don't get me wrong... I don't think its something thats easily applicable in ones life... I wasted years of my life and when I woke up all I had left, luckily, was my family. I've been somewhere similar in my own life and I'd just rather not see someone make the same mistakes I did... Your heart may never catch up to your head and most likely he'll never disappear from there... but your life is your own and you can't let your emotions rule you no matter how strong they are because it will lead you to a dark place...

Well personally I'd give different advice for different things, be it cheating, drugs/alcohol, or domestic violence.

To forgive myself of the things I've done makes me afraid I'll only repeat those mistakes in the future. I've not been hard enough on myself, now it's too late.

Gossip and drama are ever present but easily ignored... anyone who's all about that an be left behind as they obviously don't care all that much in a time of need... But like you I don't prefer to open up every detail of my life to the public eye either and neither should you have to... You are who you are be proud of that and always look to improve upon yourself...

Hence why it's divine.
Forgiving yourself for your trespasses upon others is the most difficult due to the fact that your ego plays into the factor whether we like it or not. We acknowledge and understand our shortcomings but feel the regret significantly more due to our lack of hindsight and control over the situation.

Why? besides she realized she *** up and honestly it looks like shes trying to own up to it... sometimes we need something to break before we realize we need to fix something in ourselves..

edit: It just sucks beyond belief to watch something like this break...

Then move towards fixing to what needs to be fixed and forgive yourself along the way...

brb...

Zef, you're already paying for your mistakes.
Reaping the consequences of the situation is your punishment.
Anything further than that is self-inflicted and leads down a dark path of depression and self-pity. As mentioned by Flavin, your heart needs to catch up to your head. There needs to be a balance for a healthy life.
How you go about that is up to you, but it is necessary.

Ok you know what Zef stop trying be a attention ***. I do know what you spent years doing to the guy and he was a idiot for staying with you for so long. So suck it up and stop trying feel sorry for yourself and move on with your life and just maybe learn not to pull the ***you did on him with the next person you with. So stop trying sucker the guys on here into thinking you're the victim and feel sorry for you and just move on with your life. Thats all i got to say..

I hope not, I kinda enjoy this thread.

Would you kindly get the *** out unless you have something constructive to say?
If you don't like seeing people having problems with relationships in their life, then don't post here.

It annoys me when people come into a deliberately specific area of discussion that is knowingly sensitive and act like some hard *** with condescending ***.

Zef is going through a difficult moment in her life as relevant to the thread title. Various insight was given, as were opinions and advice. What was posted just now was uncalled for and served little to no purpose whatsoever.

Don't make me resort to lolzy pics to keep this from a flamewar, because I'll do it! In fact, here, have a panda.



Whatever Zef did or did not do is her business. She's here because she's having a rough time and that's what the thread is for. She has every right to be here.

naa no flame war i just actually have known her and the ***she pulled and how she been pulling this same feel sorry for me act for years. She needs grow up and stop trying play guys and just move on with her life. False cofmort isnt what she needs , she needs a reality check to pull her head out of it and grow and move on with life.

Obviously, I don't know about the circumstances of this break-up (pretty much like everyone else), but I'm going to be honest about this. While Heimdall's post was harsh, I do see that Zefiris is stuck in what seems to be a self-inflicted spiral of feeling down.
That honestly isn't to attack you Zef, I don't even know you. But you have to be willing to come out of this depression yourself, as well, and be willing to try and do something about it. Other people can give advice, but it is up to you to take it and try to do something about your situation or state of mental well-being.
A breakup is always hard no matter the reasons, but you just have to sit back, think rationally about why it didn't work out (because usually, it is either 1 big event or many "smaller" ones leading to the breakup) and that maybe it is better this way for the both of you in the end. Dwelling on the things you could have done different have no use whatsoever, just have to take the positive from the negative, learn from your experiences, and move on. It's not easy, but being stuck in an emotional well is worse than trying to crawl out of it.
You will be okay, I am sure that there are people that care for you and you will be able to move on.