Its not all mmos. People on XI are just dickwads. You might meet some good ones a long the way but most of them are only in it for themselves and will *** over anyone in a second. I haven't played very many online games but XI is the only one I've seen like this lol
You just need to find the right people, in something like 4 years there were only 2 or 3 times where we had an issue with people having an "Out for themselves" mentality. We had no specific rules or requirements, we were simply always there to help eachother out and when it came to drops we knew who needed what and controlled ourselves with the lot button. IE if a +2 upgrade item dropped that I needed for dnc but one of our blms needed it for blm I'd pass to them since I never got on dnc anyways, or if someone only needed 1 or 2 more we'd get that person done first.
There is a difference between friends and allies in any game you play... recongnizing the difference is important when setting your expectations.