As the child of a single mother, I can attest to aspects of it that are not something I would wish upon another child...
First, make sure that IF POSSIBLE the child has a healthy understanding of whatever they want to know about their father. I didn't meet my biological father until I was almost an adult. I battled with fantasies, and exaggerations of whom I imagined my father to be. I subconsciously thought somethign was wrong with me because OBVIOUSLY something had to be for him to never even want to meet me, right?
Second, I developed an almost uncomfortable familiarity with women. Hell, I thought for a while I might be gay because i was raised by a single mom (i was disgusted by the thought of "being" with a guy but I had no male role model to give me a sexual identity as a pre-teen). The irony was that the familiarity with my feminine side and lack of the "sacredness" of the mother figure in a dual parent household (mom worked all day to pay for our life) I ended up being a womanizing piece of ***. Years of maturity (you kids calling 24 old >.>) have brought me to a point I regret those mistakes and the poor girls I hurt. It still is important to make sure you balance work/homelife.
Lastly, make sure that if a relevant male role model isn't present that you at least accomodate the upbringing of the child. I was laughed at and assumed "weak" because I had no idea as to anything about sports or "manly stuff". I got into plenty fights before adulthood because I didn't realise I didn't have to "prove" I wasn't a sissy because I didn't have a daddy or know how the hell to shoot a lay up.
Regardless of whether you and your babydaddy work out, Zah, an un-married mother is something to truly respect. I wish you all the blessings in the world and I'm sure you'll be just fine.
If anyone dis-respects you lemme know and I'll break their nose in 3 places. :x
See, despite whether we stay together or not, it's not as though the kiddo will be fatherless. I have a GREAT relationship with my father, and couldn't even begin to imagine what life would have been like for me and my brother without him. Even not having the dad in the house is an unsettling idea to me. I've spoken to my parents about my qualms. They're disappointed, but I'm lucky enough to have a very tight-knit, ferociously protective bunch even though we have our problems.
As far as sports and whatnot. I've always been fairly athletic. I can't say that the idea of cheering from the sidelines at little league games, and supplying juice boxes and oranges doesn't make me grin uncontrollably.
The thought of what you stated, "I subconsciously thought something was wrong with me because OBVIOUSLY something had to be for him to never even want to meet me, right?" kind of frightens me. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and think about whether our differences are so superficial that it would be selfish of me not to make it work.
It's not that he's a bad guy. Not the case at all. Him living with me has made me tick more than anything. I know I am extremely nit-picky and have annoying idiosyncrasies myself. Simplistic household chores and what not are beyond his realm of thought. "You just turned thirty-one! I'm not your maid!" rings through my head on a daily basis. There are other problems that are a little more strenuous that make me wonder, but in the end I could just be a ***.
/shrug
I'm pretty confident that I can accommodate just fine, but the whole situation is strange. Things will be fine.
EDIT: The only thing that bothers me is when people notice I don't have a ring (keep in mind this is 45+ folks), and make some stupid, backhanded, "Bless your heart!" comment. I just want to scream, "I'll be twenty-eight when he makes his appearance!"
And I don't want to be shoved out in work. That makes me nervous. They hired on someone recently. A guy just out of college. I know that they're trying to bring in someone to pick up my projects that will go ape turds in December, and will be underway when I take maternity leave in February. I have this paranoid notion that I need to take steps to keep tabs on MY projects.
