Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

We have these things called SOPs, or Standard Operating Procedures, that list every task that will ever need to be done, in order, start to finish, including all materials that will be needed, and including pictures of nearly every step. If someone taught monkeys to read SOPs, they could literally do our jobs. (And I mean literally as literally, not as figuratively. THAT'S how clear the SOPs are supposed to be.)

So. I was making actuators, time-consuming little squirrelly squirrels, and I forgot which screws I was supposed to use to screw the housings shut on the completed motor. So I grabbed the SOP and started reading the material list, saw that I would need a 3/4 PHP, fetched me a bin of 3/4 PHP screws, and closed one housing. It looked 100% wrong. Wrong I say! So I went looking for a completed actuator in correct housing, and sure enough, the previous ones had been closed with flat-head screws. So I carted the SOP and both actuators off to my supervisor, who scratched his head and sent me upstairs to HIS supervisor, who said that the SOP was wrong. The flat-head screws were right. The kicker is, we're required to follow the SOP, so technically the PHP screws were right (even though they were wrong) and everyone who'd ever made the actuators with the FHP screws had done it wrong (even though they were right) because they hadn't followed the SOP.) What what.


SO THEN. Later CCL was cutting and tinning wires to fit into more actuators, and asked me what size to use. Well, the baggie of wires in the actuator supplies and labeled as the actuator motor wires were 2.5 inches. But when we looked at the SOP to be sure, it said to use 3 inch wires. Well phooie, that means every single actuator from the entire batch of 200 previously cut wires that were placed in the 3 inch bag were wrong. So I had to cart THAT upstairs to my supervisor's supervisor and beg for forgiveness (even though I had not been the one to cut the previous wrong wires nor put them in the wrong bag.) And they said well actually, we were 100% fine to be using the 2.5 inch wires, which means that SOP was wrong too. Stop it! Stop making wrong SOPs! The SOPs are supposed to be 100% correct 100% of the time! They are the end-alls of end-alls!

AND THEN! After I finally got all the actuators made, housed, screwed down, locked tight, water-sealed, and sound-tested, I had to do one more test on them to be sure of continuity. So for the continuity, I set up a meter for ohms, connect the red meter wire to one of the actuator wires, and use the black meter wire to press at various spots on top of the actuator housing. The meter should read 0L at all times, if a number ever pops up on the screen, that means that somewhere metal is touching metal and shorting inside.

I mean this kind of meter by the way, not the kind on yardsticks:



Anyways. So one of my people showed me how to do it, his test showed 0L on all points. I took the meter wires and gave it a go, and numbers popped up everywhere. Same actuator, same test spots, same meter wires. He tried again, all 0. I tried again, all numbers. We got a different actuator and he tried, all 0. I tried, all numbers. This went on for three or four back-and-forths for about 6 actuators, and he was all "OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ELECTRICITY IN YOU ARE YOU THOR." and then he was all "ONE MORE GOSH-DIDDLY-DARN-IT TIME AND YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO TEST THESE EVER AGAIN." and then he was all "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MY WHOLE BRAIN IS CRYING!" So we took the meter, an actuator, and the two of us upstairs to my supervisor's supervisor AGAIN.

We showed him, and it kept happening there too. Finally, after about 5 minutes of watching us trade the darn thing back and forth and him get 0 every time while I got numbers every time, the supervisor figured out that I was using my finger to press the second meter wire to the actuator, and the meter was picking up resistance from me. I was touching the tips of both meter wires.

How. Embarrassing. Such a rookie mistake! I mean it's one thing when I waste my own time by being confused, but when I waste everyone else's too? ,~_~,