Final Fantasy XIV Database - Ffxivpro.com

you need to be more like your brother vic... he started from scratch and you know what he's asked for so far? a margeruite and a hecteye eye.... idk why PARKER and I don't judge...

he's like... level 75 or 80 or something already... I feel like my "help" has only been slowing him down and he's been nice enough not to complain about me going the wrong way all the time and drunkenly stumbling into walls and dead ends....

ok

no.

PARKER if anyone calls selling buggy whips, light-bulbs for overhead projectors, cassette tapes, or toner cartridges... tell them to cram it!!!...

wait...on second thought just put them through to flavin he probably still uses *** phonebooks and ***like that.

send help

I'm having trouble seeing out of my right eye....

and I have to go yell at PARKER....who just sent a telemarketer call to engineering.... and I'm all~ "diabolical support how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for the manager responsible for purchasing printing supplies"

/pause.....we don't have one of those....it's 2019 bro!

what does that mean?

nobody prints anything anymore!

that's not true....

you'll see... /laughing hangs up the phone

poor dumb ***... it wouldn't even help him if he used those supplies to print up a bunch of new resumes.... who still even excepts paper resumes!? McDonald's?

maybe the supermarket?

***... even target and walmart are digital.

Another week another Monday.

2 weeks of vacation has ruined me.

I heard someone yell "Mosin!" and I woke up, I think turned away, and fell asleep again >.<

I wanted teh scales so bad...

/bad russian accent
vodka is very very sneaky comrade...

yeah I need the booze to sleep, but the timing can really be hit or miss.

Zero~ why isn't mosin facing the mob?
me~ he's drunk and/or passed out

we're not one of those super cereal linkshells of days of yore...you can show up whatever job you want and if you pass out during an event we probably won't draw all over you with permanent magic markers.

also PARKER we finally found someone worse at keeping track of things than you... and his name is Jim Beam... he'll help you get into all sorts of trouble... but once you're neck deep in it and sinking fast... he is nowhere to be found.

Me trying to fight Kin last night:

Also went Oreganos ...should have said no to the Pazooki

Local World Market closing its doors. Snagged some Founders Double Trouble for 30% off.

nah he has an active LS, so I said we'd leave him alone. for now...

also, is bob ignoring us? or has he answered us several times already and grown tired of us not listening to his replies....

I seem to remember something about him only playing casually...
/stares at the opium pipe
but I might have dreamed it...or hallucinated it...or skimmed it, forgotten it and then remembered it just now.....


also, also, is bob a ghost and if so, why is he haunting us?

PARKER go check the obituaries and see if bob died and if so who is most likely responsible / top of the suspect list for killing him....

I'm sure it's probably me too PARKER... but go check anyways...
/glances at the clock

WAIT!!!

scratch that and put a pin in it or remind me to remind you to check it monday because it's scotch o'clock in this mofo!!!!

/runs out screaming

everything is possible.

/from underneath his desk

you guy are completely ruling out the possibility that he might be a super secret deep cover covert operative...from.../hits the opium pipe again....secretagentland!

Anyone nice enough to waste their time trying to help me out with that *** of a quest is either a good dood, or a super bored one.

As to your question last night Mosin about pearling randos....

linky

Results may very, certain restrictions may apply

at times I may appear to be generous... for instance, you invited vic and we have been giving him a hand sometimes. but, whether vic remembers us or not from the olden days...(nobody ever does btw) he was a good player and I still feel an obligation to help out in an any friend of larry's is a friend of mine kind of way as larry, (who probably also doesn't remember me) has always been extraordinarily helpful player.

and at the same time I was probably a total *** last night to bumblebeetuna...whose name sounds familiar...but it might be the jim carrey / ace ventura thing talking




PARTY CHECK!!! NEW RULES!!! YNYR!!!

PARKER...I'm delegating you to read the new revised rules, eighth edition.

[speedy announcer voice]
TeamHappyFamily Incorporated, a holey owned division of Evil Enterprises LLC a proud member of the Halliburton evil family of companies. here fore and to wit state the following rule YNYR (your noob, your responsibility) ....since and while the distribution of linkpearls is at the discretion of the individual sack holder (phrasing boom) now and forthwith to be known here within as "the pearler" he or she does accepts and acknowledges full responsibility of any and all individuals receiving a pearl from them to be known here in as the "pearlie" which under no circumstances obligates no other member(s in part in or in whole of TeamHappyFamily and it's affiliates. Void where prohibited. No representation or warranty, express or implied, with respect to the completeness, accuracy, fitness for a particular purpose, or utility of these materials or any information or opinion contained herein. Actual mileage may vary. Prices slightly higher west of the Mississippi. All models over 18 years of age. No animals were harmed during the production of this product, except the ones the ones that were eaten. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental. This product not to be construed as an endorsement of any product or company, nor as the adoption or promulgation of any guidelines, standards or recommendations. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Package sold by weight, not volume. Contents may settle during shipment. No user-serviceable parts inside. Use only as directed.

you already pressed the sending explosion button didn't you (@2:09)

too late!!!!

>:O

before you get too carried away.... bear in mind that it's entirely possible they are a completely a figment of my own imagination...

alokin just expressed the "we might not get invited back" part

I....made everything else up.... there may or may not of been a direct assault on the sanctity of the castle... and the outgoing mortar fire may have been... premature... wait a minute I had something for this... prematuretalliation

well PARKER those fields need to be turned over anyways I'm sure the peasants are overjoyed.... yes even the ones whose houses were destroyed.... they're built out of straw and mud...they get all damp and smelly if they stay standing too long...

you worry too much PARKER I'm sure they're ok with it

/sips coffee