So, I haven't been visible too much the past few years but I have been stopping in almost daily. I'm sure some of you are fine with this. Either way, Vyre has been carrying the weight and I'm grateful for that.
I'm not feeling well, uncomfortable at the moment, and facing surgery for things no one wants to hear about and I feel like sharing a little bit. No, this isn't a resignation post.
A little over three years ago, during a job search, my sister talked me into getting a job with her at Walmart. We worked as overnight stockers and for awhile I loved it, I made friends with my first team lead and enjoyed talking to her and annoying the ***out of her but as all good things do, this came to an end about a year in when she transferred to start moving up at a store with more possibilities. Obviously I'm happy for her and proud of her but with her departure, my interest in overnights dropped off completely.
In the following year, in what time I did get with my family, it was decided that I would inherit the family home and now I am the caretaker of my parents who I didn't even get to see very much, I started trying to leave overnights, this drags on for a year all while I felt more trapped and desperate, separated from family, eventually my TL was replaced and that TL moved to days and asked me to follow, I was holding out for another department until one night.
That morning I got home after work and found my mom having a stroke, as soon as the ambulance took her I had to go to bed to be at work that night, when I got to work, I called my mom and she was still slurring her words, I didn't know if my mom was coming home the way she left. That night was a bad one, everything piling up on me and all it took was one TL yelling at me and something snapped. Everyone else went on break, I went to the freezer to have an emotional breakdown and plan my own death. I eventually snapped out of it and made a decision; "tomorrow I will get my ticket to days, or I will quit."
Our store manager has his faults, but when I went to meet with him, he actually greeted me with "you still want to come to days? I'm pretty sure we can find a spot." So I ended up in grocery, working with my TL who asked to to join her when she left nights.
Recently, I decided to be my TL's counterpart and I put in for the grocery TL spot, opposite her since I fill in for the TLs anyway. I earned that spot, I busted my *** for it, but when it came down to me being the only viable option, they brought a guy from another store in and interviewed him after the interviews were done and gave it to him.
For the longest time I was mad about how I was treated on overnights and I blamed that TL and our Coach (salaried manager) I have been so mad over not getting the position, and I'm tired of it. This may sound stupid but I remember hearing Oasis' Don't Look Back in Anger and I had to ask "why the *** are you mad?" I can't keep holding onto that ***, so I've let it go.
Moving to days was a gamble that I lost. I gave up a $1.50 shift differential because I planned to promote. I recently got in contact with my first TL, she's a coach at her store now and I plan to transfer and work with her, either transferring into a promotion or transferring to work my way towards it.
Not sure why I decided to write all this out but I felt like I needed to get it out of my head. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
- Kojo, AKA Anna "Rageboner" Ruthven