Just a heads-up: This contains sensitive content. If you're uncomfortable, you can always step away.
Hello again everyone. I have been in the private server scene for two years and wanted to make this to spread awareness and so that new players who never engaged in this type of environment before can be better prepared and take the preventative measures needed (as I for one was unaware and had not).
So let's begin.
Since private servers operate without official oversight, there’s an inherent risk that those running them may already be acting in unethical and unmoral ways.
For instance, Intellectual property infringement is illegal, and running a private server using Square Enix’s copyrighted content without permission may violate copyright laws. Private server operators typically subscribe to the official game and use addons to capture data, which can put them at risk of a permanent ban if caught. Square Enix strictly opposes private servers and does not endorse them in any way.
There have been reported cases of private server staff engaging in morally questionable behavior. Many of these individuals continue to operate in high-ranking positions across multiple servers, despite a wealth of negative reviews detailing their past actions. Their behaviors have significantly damaged the reputation of private servers, often overshadowing the genuine talent and dedication of others. Discussions about them can be found across various forums, yet they are rarely held accountable to uphold any "Code of Conduct".
Some players have reported experiencing issues such as: [instigating and enabling cyberbullying for their own amusement and entertainment], [instigating toxic cliques to harrass normal players in public spaces outside of the game], [sharing private tickets as a form of entertainment], [abusing mechanics in-game], [RMT], [s*xual harassment of females], [isolating, gaslighting, and banning players who have concerns], [sharing private and personal information as a public display of humiliation], [victim blaming anyone who is a conflict and a resistant to the server], [doxing other staff and players for their own benefits], [GM power abuse and ego trips], [extreme hostility and indifference], [psychological abuse tactics], [defamatory tactics], [causing tremendous amount of distress in individuals], etc.
You want to be investigative and aware of the networks of your clique. There's also no knowing who are the hidden GMs in the private servers. They do not fully disclose their identities. Sometimes players will have immunity for various reasons that are left in the unknown.
Predators in private servers often operate within cliques because it gives them social leverage over their targets. They use the clique’s reputation or influence to pressure individuals into compliance. Signs include:
• Group members normalizing inappropriate behavior, like making s*xual jokes of their members.
• The group acting like gatekeepers, making it seem like you need to be accepted by them to have a good experience on the server.
• Someone using the clique’s status to make you feel indebted to them (“We helped you get this item, you should be grateful”).
• If you express discomfort about certain behavior, the clique minimizes or mocks your concerns.
• They may subtly discourage you from interacting with others outside the group.
• If you distance yourself, they might turn others against you, spreading rumors to damage your reputation.
• The clique enforces an "us vs. them" mentality, making it feel like leaving would mean losing all your in-game friends.
• Members may make inappropriate comments about your appearance, voice, or personal life.
• They encourage you to share personal details (pictures, social media) that can be used against you later.
• If a high-status clique member crosses a boundary, the group may pressure you into keeping quiet so they don’t face consequences.
• They deny your experiences (“That never happened,” “You’re overreacting”).
• The clique frames you as the problem to deflect accountability.
• If you leave, they might harass or doxx you to maintain control over the narrative.
• They weaponize their social influence to blacklist you from the community or other servers.
Preventative:
• Set boundaries early and don’t let group pressure override your comfort.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
• Have friends outside the clique so you’re not socially trapped.
• If things get bad, leave and block anyone who tries to manipulate you.
• Report to the appropriate authorities who have your best interest and a clean record.
Since private servers operate without regulation, some bad actors use these spaces to manipulate, groom, or exploit younger or vulnerable players. Be cautious of:
• Players or staff members who quickly try to befriend you in a way that feels forced.
• Requests for personal information (age, location, real name, social media).
• Private messages with inappropriate or overly personal topics.
• Love-bombing tactics (excessive flattery, gifts, favors) to gain trust.
• Attempts to isolate you from other players or communities.
If someone makes you uncomfortable, block them and disengage. You do not owe anyone your time or personal details.
Some private server communities have a history of doxxing players (sharing private information without consent). Reduce your risk by:
• Using an alias that does not match your real name.
• Keeping social media separate from your gaming identity.
• Not sharing personal information, even with people who seem trustworthy.
• Being aware that staff may have access to your IP address and other metadata and can abuse it. ALWAYS USE VPN!
Many private servers create a strong sense of community, but this can also be a trap. If a game is causing more stress than enjoyment, step away.
• Remember: This is a hobby, not real life.
• Avoid over-identifying with in-game social groups.
• Not everyone holds the game to the same standards.
• Everyone plays for entirely different reasons.
• Everyone's idea of "fun" can be entirely different. Even in abusive levels.
• If a private server is harming your mental health, log off and walk away.
If a private server becomes unsafe or toxic, be prepared to leave immediately:
• Cliques could go after you and hunt you down to discredit, downplay, and shift the narrative.
• Remove your personal info from profiles.
• Keep screenshots of any harassment or abuse in case you need to report it to legal authorities.
• Don't feel guilty for prioritizing your safety.
• Consider whether staying on a private server is worth the risks, and explore alternatives that ensure a safer experience.
• Sometimes it's better to pay a subscription with absolute guarantee that harm will not directly come from the staff themselves. Retail servers have a longlasting over of 20 years and much more experience to in preventing malfeasance.
I want to thank all my supporters, friends and other victims who have stepped forward and contacted me. Thank you guys for encouraging me to use my voice and speak up.
I hope you guys stay safe and this will be of help to anyone who decide to enter the private server scene. If you know a friend who may be at risk please pass this information on.
P.S. Please stay on topic. If you want to contribute to Private Server vs. Retail Pros and Cons based on content, you can go back to the "Infographics.." one I created a few days ago.
