Friendliness And Flirting

This... this might be... no it couldn't possibly be... the only thing... I could or have ever... agreed with Nausi on...

SOB that just ruined my day!

Only a date if afterwards your bank account is lower and you will probably never see her again.

It's not political in nature, so it doesn't count. You are safe.

Oh, well then...

This reminds me of the Prostitution loophole: You don't pay a Prostitute for sex, you pay them to leave afterwards.

If I had a dollar for every time my friend's gf has messaged me on FB and said "you should get a gf so we can all go out", I'd be able to hire a girl to pretend to be my gf

Sounds like a very passive aggressive way of saying "I don't like you", but then again, I've been diagnosed with a terminal case of *** intolerance.

There is a very fuzzy line between friendliness and flirting, one that is quite subjective.

Also, some flirt for sport, not intending to follow through with anything romantic or sexual. (Yes, I have been guilty of this one in the distant past.)

There is another fuzzy line between flirting and sexual harassment, but that's another thread.

Must be a pandemic, because my ***-o-meter goes off all the time.

You're lucky you get a response that direct.

I just get the weaseling out of plans responses, I'm kinda busy, or the yeah sorry we didn't invite you ***. I [we] forgot, or yeah we did invite you. [Umm, no you didn't ***!]

Fuzzy line my ***. The guidelines are very clear, I suggest you take a moment to read the definitive literature on the subject.

If there was one thing that I wish humans would do, it's just say what they mean. Not that I don't realize why people do it. But the defense mechanism is a bit *** if the point is lost so often.

Trying to avoid the dreaded third wheel vibe?

More of I don't even think I'm invited until I bring someone else

Wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that anyway

It's always interested me what the view of other people was on this. Having been raised in an all female household since I was young, I've always gotten along better with females and these days most of my friends are gals. I also don't beat around the bush when I'm interested in someone and I outright tell them.

I guess I was just raised differently from the usual westerner. It's interesting to see the thoughts other people have on this.

Ask any female I know (in or out of game) I'm an insatiable flirt.

but I have 0 romantic feelings for them, I normally turn all super polite and nice with people I actually like (At least I used to till I found that special psycho to spend my life with ... wait)

The odd thing is, my friends are largely left over from college, and (most) all the other married couples have wives (or husbands) from after school who weren't in our circle of friends (and most of them in turn have kids to boot), or they're single.

Whereas my wife and I were both in that group of friends in college.

We can't get people to hang out with us period. The married ones all really revolve around their damned babies and the single friends seem disinclined to do anything that will not directly result in them having sex. And as we're not that type of couple...

I've wondered if it's a matter of early-childhood socialization a few times.

A smidge off-topic, and this is purely observational, but it seems that most girls who broadcast the, "I only get along with guys," song and dance have female siblings. Not only do they alienate other girls by throwing their own gender under the bus as a seduction technique, but they always come running back to the fold when they "bull in a china shop" their way to sex with guy as a utilitarian source to placate themselves instead of develop a platonic relationship to evaluate whether it is a good match in the first place.

Clueless! After a while, it comes to the point of, "We already warned you. Now, go sob into your Mike's Hard Lemonade, Prom Queen!" further alienating the goofball and continuing the cycle. People be crazy!

A mix and match of siblings is good for a better understanding of each other.

EDIT: Just to add to Ramyrez's comment, testosterone drops after having children.

I don't know that has much to do with it. At least in our particular case.

I've never been able to tell when women are flirting with me though. My wife seems to think she can tell when women are flirting with me, but I get the feeling she's just being defensive. As the vast majority of women have always treated me the same and I highly doubt they've all wanted a piece of me.

As far as "can men and women be just friends", the question is ages-old and a flawed question from the start. "Can a homosexual and a heterosexual be just friends?" "Can two homosexuals of the same gender be just friends?" "What about two homosexuals of different genders!?"

Everyone is different. It is quite difficult, however, to be a single individual and be friends with an "on the market" member of the associated sexual preference. Because here's the thing: both both have to be not interested, and you both have to be free of suspicion that the other person is interested, whether they actually are or not.

That is a difficult set of circumstances to recreate in the real world. And even if you do create those circumstances, then you have to maintain them.

"Don't fall in love with someone who is interested in the vast majority of things you are and with whom you spend all of your time and is of the appropriate gender/sexuality to be compatible with you in such a fashion."

Coincidentally, it is my belief that these are the people you should be dating, not someone with almost no related interests, but with whom you feel that grinding genitalia may be pleasurable.

These are the people who came up with the "opposites attract" fallacy. I maintain that if you don't have anything more than a passing blip of shared interests with your spouse, then what the bloody hell is the point?

I wasn't specifically referring to your case, there just seems to be some yappin' about why people subconsciously "separate" themselves when the familial threshold has been crossed.

I totally agree with you that hitching your cart to someone over superficial interests spells doom for relationships.

I had a lot of guy friends growing up. Didn't really give off that TEEHEE I'M A GIRL TIME TO FLIRT thing. One of the last ones would hang out with me often but I guess things got serious with his girlfriend so he stopped talking to me. No idea :c I still have guy friends online. I think guys can be just friends with girls. Not talking about friend zoning, because I really don't think that exists.

Saying that the "friend zone" doesn't exist is a somewhat egregious statement, as if you think it exists and you consider yourself in it, it exists.

The problem is, in fact, that people put themselves in it by thinking and acting a certain way and then project that problem upon the targets of their desire for not feeling the same way they do. Not that they've told them how they feel, in most cases, which is how they got to that point in the first place.

I'm not saying that some people (it happens in both genders) don't contribute to the problem in some fashion, conciously or otherwise. But the number of those that do is vastly lower than the amount of people who consider themselves victims of the "friend zone".

About half of my close friends are female. :D I'm not interested in women though so maybe the dynamic is different, but it does seem like girls are more open after they find out that I'm gay. I think it's because everyone is aware that our dating culture is a huge mess, so people feel like they can be themselves when they know that they won't have to navigate through all that ***with you.

By the same token, it's always been a little easier for me to make close friends with straight guys than with gay guys because the line is already drawn at "friends." Nobody wants to draw that line themselves because a) most people don't actually know or can't decide what they want to do, b) drawing the line suggests that you think the other person is into you (which is presumptuous), and c) it's kind of a huge pain in the ***. I don't really blame people for avoiding the situation, personally.

I think there's little question that gay men are possibly the "safest" friends for women in a lot of ways. It's a bit stereotypical to think that way, but it's grounded in solid - if not 100% flawless - logic. They're not going to say anything and everything they have to to sleep with them like straight male friends might. And they're not going to go stealing their man or whatever the way another female might unless aid man is quite open about such things.

Ive had experiences where I got feelings for my friend, since he was a good friend I could talk to him about it. Agreed it wouldnt work out, I got over it and stayed friends. So no, I dont think it exists. Why cant you talk it out with your "good friend"

Strong feelings aren't something you just get over with easily, especially if you keep staying close to your love interest.

I guess I should clarify that I'm referring to girls who get down-right sloppy, scream it at the top of their lungs amongst a crowd, then leer at her object of affection while he's relieving himself in a bush or tree. :/

I'm talking about the ones whose gal-pals are at their convenience only when they hit "critical melt-down" mode, because a guy just found out what an emotional chore she is, when her friends knew all along that she was a chore.


There is a nice level of comfort knowing that simply making eye-contact (which humans do when communicating with each other) isn't misconstrued.