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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 09:38:53
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Bismarck.Magnuss said: »
Righto. She's gotta be someone you can stand 10 years down the road.

By the way, I'm just beginning to realize that I think I've seen your name way back when I was playing FFXI. Were we ever in any parties together like 2-3 years ago?

Maybe? I've been around for a long time, always Ramyrez. I wasn't always on Bismarck though. I'm a Seraph refuge (/angry). I still miss my server. Bismarck smells like boiled cabbage. Like the entire server is in Bastok. ._.;

But yeah. It's been like, what? Four years now? Chances are if you've been an active NA in that time we've at least bumped into each other at an auction house or VW party or something.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2014-10-15 09:44:28
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Ramyrez said: »
Bismarck smells like boiled cabbage. Like the entire server is in Bastok. ._.;.

PARKER Edit: Biz Markie protocol activated
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 Bismarck.Misao
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By Bismarck.Misao 2014-10-15 09:44:38
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-yawn-
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By Seraph.Thynameismagnus 2014-10-15 09:48:18
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Ramyrez said: »
I'm a Seraph refuge
I know that feel.
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 Lakshmi.Flavin
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 09:49:10
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Ramyrez said: »
Bismarck.Magnuss said: »
Ramyrez said: »
I'm still with the same woman who loves me.
Yeah, keep rubbing it in...

I can't speak for myself, as my relationship with my wife is -- while not entirely unique -- pretty different from most spousal relationships that I've seen. I can honestly say that if I were in a "traditional" marriage I'd be telling you careful what you wish for.

For instance, people use the term "wife aggro" when they have to step away from the game because of a spouse's needs, or people say their spouse wants them for something outside of game that they don't want to do.

Why the hell would you marry someone who doesn't want to play video games with you? This makes absolutely no sense to me. She could be the hottest woman on the planet but if she doesn't share my interests, I don't think I could make that work.

I think 99% of my coworkers all *** about their spouses, and the other one is a 51-year-old guy who married a 30-something who adores him, so...him and I seem to have what we want. Everyone else just...complains.

I dunno. Over-simplifying for a point, but...eh. Just realize, imo, it's got to be the right relationship. Not just "a" relationship.
idk... some shared interests are nice but they don't always need to do the same things as you...

I think the biggest problem comes when your with someone and they won't tolerate your hobbies... there is always a balance though... It's not always easy for the other person in a relationship to deal with an MMO junky because of the sheer amount of time you can dump into the game which i've seen can lead to resentment and honestly I can understand that...

When a game seems to come before your significant other I can understand them getting pissed about it lol... so in situations like those I can see the whole sharing the same interest as a total benefit because you can still be with them in that platform...

It boils down to priorities...

People complain about a lot of things. I complain about you guys all the time... :)
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2014-10-15 09:50:38
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you would...
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 09:54:12
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idk... some shared interests are nice but they don't always need to do the same things as you...

Not always. But...eh. Like I said. My wife and I are a bit weird.

I can understand the resentment if you're neglecting a mate because of an MMO. Which is why I can't understanding being with someone who isn't also into gaming, at least, if not the same MMO. Like, I know my ls leader has been married for v. long as well he doesn't play XI w/ her, but he plays WoW and other games.
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2014-10-15 09:58:38
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men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:00:54
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...

Anyone that complains about their spouse more than occasionally bothers me. I mean, we all get a little irked with people sometimes, even if we love them dearly, and that's one thing.

But when it's every day or two some new complaint...*** hell. You live in a country with the freedom to remedy the situation. Just do it already.
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 Bismarck.Misao
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By Bismarck.Misao 2014-10-15 10:02:18
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hmm you know whatt?
i havent seen you know who, who shall not be named, in a while.
did you toss him in the dungeon?

no wonder things seem rather peaceful.
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By Anna Ruthven 2014-10-15 10:03:23
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
Or they have nothing else to talk about and need a hobby.
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By Siren.Mosin 2014-10-15 10:04:14
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Anna Ruthven said: »
Or they have nothing else to talk about and need a hobby.

nope!
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By Bismarck.Misao 2014-10-15 10:06:13
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or wife is holding out.
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:20:24
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Bismarck.Misao said: »
or wife is holding out.

Which, again, if there's not some sort of understand there, is indicative of a problem.
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2014-10-15 10:20:44
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Bismarck.Misao said: »
or wife is holding out.

the wife is probably holding out because their husbands act like dickheaded little children that require more maintenance than a old jaguar v12.

I have a strict policy of walking anyone out to the parking lot who has the audacity to continue to *** about their full time working, kids, house and husband caring for, dealing with inlaw/outlaw family crisis on a regular basis, might as well work three full time jobs wife who stills puts up with their dumb ***...

you get one warning.

call it a "pet peeve" if you will, but that ***gets right under my finger nails like a metal splinter
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By Bahamut.Kara 2014-10-15 10:20:47
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
I really don't understand people who complain about their spouse.

1) If you don't like something with your spouse figure out why and fix it**. Or realize it will never change and either learn to live with it or leave.
2) That is a private relationship. Why would you want the whole world to know the details of it is beyond my understanding. Besides just something to *** about, which I'm beginning to think, a lot of people just like doing.
3) If this gets back to the spouse (it will) you know whatever you said will be twisted and that's not going to help the relationship one iota.

Edit:
** When I say figure out if that is what you are angry about or if it's a combination of many things. Fixing it where both the partners have to work towards fixing the problem. Or deciding that it is not an important problem, merely annoying, and letting go.
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 10:23:50
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Ramyrez said: »
Quote:
idk... some shared interests are nice but they don't always need to do the same things as you...

Not always. But...eh. Like I said. My wife and I are a bit weird.

I can understand the resentment if you're neglecting a mate because of an MMO. Which is why I can't understanding being with someone who isn't also into gaming, at least, if not the same MMO. Like, I know my ls leader has been married for v. long as well he doesn't play XI w/ her, but he plays WoW and other games.
I don't think it's weird that you have shared interests lol...
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 10:26:53
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Bahamut.Kara said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
I really don't understand people who complain about their spouse.

1) If you don't like something with your spouse figure out why and fix it. Or realize it will never change and either learn to live with it or leave.
2) That is a private relationship. Why would you want the whole world to know the details of it is beyond my understanding. Besides just something to *** about, which I'm beginning to think, a lot of people just like doing.
3) If this gets back to the spouse (it will) you know whatever you said will be twisted and that's not going to help the relationship one iota.
1)but I'm lazy! There are also people that don't like to deal with conflict no matter how big or small. They just want things to be good.
2)nothing is private on the internet! look at how many people here talk about all kinds of things dealing with their relationships!
3)maybe thats a good thing. They'll do the wlking you couldn't bring yourself to do.
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 10:29:53
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Remember it's also not always as easy as hey I'm just gonna pack up and leave because I'm not enjoying myself anymore especially when you're married so yeah...
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By Lakshmi.Sparthosx 2014-10-15 10:37:35
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Ramyrez said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...

Anyone that complains about their spouse more than occasionally bothers me. I mean, we all get a little irked with people sometimes, even if we love them dearly, and that's one thing.

But when it's every day or two some new complaint...*** hell. You live in a country with the freedom to remedy the situation. Just do it already.

I have a coworker that does this every day. Like dude, you're going to die hating your wife and blaming her for the last 25 years of misery leading to serious health issues. Life lessons right here.

Bahamut.Kara said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
I really don't understand people who complain about their spouse.

1) If you don't like something with your spouse figure out why and fix it**. Or realize it will never change and either learn to live with it or leave.
2) That is a private relationship. Why would you want the whole world to know the details of it is beyond my understanding. Besides just something to *** about, which I'm beginning to think, a lot of people just like doing.
3) If this gets back to the spouse (it will) you know whatever you said will be twisted and that's not going to help the relationship one iota.

Edit:
** When I say figure out if that is what you are angry about or if it's a combination of many things. Fixing it where both the partners have to work towards fixing the problem. Or deciding that it is not an important problem, merely annoying, and letting go.

1. Kids are usually the problem or pressures from outside sources like family or friends. Many relationships are well past their due date but like moldy bread that hides from you in a cupboard, it lingers and turns into this gigantic mess that needs to be thrown out but looks so bad you don't even want to handle it.

2. It's a plea for help usually. People either want to have their positions validated by having someone reinforce they should 'tough it out' for reason X/Y/Z or co-conspirators for the eventual split. See! I followed you advice off a cliff, now let me stay at your place till I can get back on my feet.

3. Talking behind one's back is usually a sign of cowardice, the same cowardice that lulls many an individual in the problems that lead to a relationship hitting the rocks. Be it apathy, boredom or simply never caring to begin with.

If you can't get along dating or serious issues pop up "she doesn't like my hobbies" or "he doesn't like my friends" then what makes a person think this'll change after a 'magic' (read: drinking) ceremony? Dudes, look at your potential wives and imagine her bloated and saggy. If you still love her, commence duty!
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:37:53
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Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Remember it's also not always as easy as hey I'm just gonna pack up and leave because I'm not enjoying myself anymore especially when you're married so yeah...

Yeah, I get that. But it's not that hard, either.

My parents figured it out in the early 80s. I'm pretty sure people can manage now.

I mean, there's always the financial factors and the like, but...if it's truly a bad situation, you'll figure out how to make that work.

And if it's a domestic abuse situation, on either side, go to the police already.
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:39:09
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Quote:
1. Kids are usually the problem or pressures from outside sources like family or friends. Many relationships are well past their due date but like moldy bread that hides from you in a cupboard, it lingers and turns into this gigantic mess that needs to be thrown out but looks so bad you don't even want to handle it.

As my wife has said repeatedly on these issues, she was a child with parents in a marriage that was well past its prime. You're doing the children absolutely no favors by staying together.
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:40:45
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On this topic, I do work in a workplace that's pretty evenly split between men/women. In my office it's actually the women who *** more, and sometimes it's even for justified reasons. But...it's constant. Don't just complain. Leave his jerk *** already.
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2014-10-15 10:41:04
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my pops was a douchebag like that until moms left him/us for about three weeks.... after three days we were all as dirty as frenchmen and tired of eating lunch meat sandwiches, hotdogs and ***on a shingle... and cereal...

on day one he was all "what's the big deal!?, she didn't do anything but lay around and watch soap operas anyways..."

after three weeks of eating nothing but those words and old salami he came unglued....
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By Lakshmi.Sparthosx 2014-10-15 10:43:34
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Ramyrez said: »
Quote:
1. Kids are usually the problem or pressures from outside sources like family or friends. Many relationships are well past their due date but like moldy bread that hides from you in a cupboard, it lingers and turns into this gigantic mess that needs to be thrown out but looks so bad you don't even want to handle it.

As my wife has said repeatedly on these issues, she was a child with parents in a marriage that was well past its prime. You're doing the children absolutely no favors by staying together.

I agree. But most marriages that stay together because of finances and simple expediency.

It's hard I imagine going back on the singles market at 40 after having failed to give a ***about yourself for years and having children to boot. You're like a box of clearance goods. Who the *** wants you? You've been priced down 4x and you're starting to take up space.
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 10:47:18
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Ramyrez said: »
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Remember it's also not always as easy as hey I'm just gonna pack up and leave because I'm not enjoying myself anymore especially when you're married so yeah...

Yeah, I get that. But it's not that hard, either.

My parents figured it out in the early 80s. I'm pretty sure people can manage now.

I mean, there's always the financial factors and the like, but...if it's truly a bad situation, you'll figure out how to make that work.

And if it's a domestic abuse situation, on either side, go to the police already.
It isn't that easy... kids, money, living arrangements... some people are pretty vindictive too... I'm not saying it can't be done but it's not as easy as you make it out to be... Some are better at it then others...

I remember a pair of friends that lived together and when they broke up neither of them could afford to live on their own and had noone that would take on the committment of putting em up until they found their own places... as they parted somewhat amicably they decided to try and make the living situation work... This became a huge problem when one of them started dating again... Not always fun knowing someone you had feelings for or still do is just getting pounded in the room next to yours by some stranger... They fought about that too among other things as they were not as willing to overlook some of the annoying things they once did for eachother... one of em eventually gave up their life here and moved back home and the other stayed there til the boot came looking for em and really had to find some place to stay...

Emotions are high when breakups come and when you've been in a committed relationship for awhile it's hard to be reasonable and divy everything up again and move on...
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By Siren.Mosin 2014-10-15 10:47:26
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Bahamut.Kara said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
men that complain about their wives are douchebags...
I really don't understand people who complain about their spouse.

1) If you don't like something with your spouse figure out why and fix it**. Or realize it will never change and either learn to live with it or leave.
2) That is a private relationship. Why would you want the whole world to know the details of it is beyond my understanding. Besides just something to *** about, which I'm beginning to think, a lot of people just like doing.
3) If this gets back to the spouse (it will) you know whatever you said will be twisted and that's not going to help the relationship one iota.

Edit:
** When I say figure out if that is what you are angry about or if it's a combination of many things. Fixing it where both the partners have to work towards fixing the problem. Or deciding that it is not an important problem, merely annoying, and letting go.

I'm with the Danish on this one. classy as always.
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By Bismarck.Magnuss 2014-10-15 10:48:16
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Raspberry or cream cheese?
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 Lakshmi.Flavin
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2014-10-15 10:48:34
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Lakshmi.Sparthosx said: »
Ramyrez said: »
Quote:
1. Kids are usually the problem or pressures from outside sources like family or friends. Many relationships are well past their due date but like moldy bread that hides from you in a cupboard, it lingers and turns into this gigantic mess that needs to be thrown out but looks so bad you don't even want to handle it.

As my wife has said repeatedly on these issues, she was a child with parents in a marriage that was well past its prime. You're doing the children absolutely no favors by staying together.

I agree. But most marriages that stay together because of finances and simple expediency.

It's hard I imagine going back on the singles market at 40 after having failed to give a ***about yourself for years and having children to boot. You're like a box of clearance goods. Who the *** wants you? You've been priced down 4x and you're starting to take up space.
Even if you think about it that way there's another man/woman out there that has gone through the same thing ish... I'm suree there's a divorced singles site out there somewhere...
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By Ramyrez 2014-10-15 10:51:11
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Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Ramyrez said: »
Lakshmi.Flavin said: »
Remember it's also not always as easy as hey I'm just gonna pack up and leave because I'm not enjoying myself anymore especially when you're married so yeah...

Yeah, I get that. But it's not that hard, either.

My parents figured it out in the early 80s. I'm pretty sure people can manage now.

I mean, there's always the financial factors and the like, but...if it's truly a bad situation, you'll figure out how to make that work.

And if it's a domestic abuse situation, on either side, go to the police already.
It isn't that easy... kids, money, living arrangements... some people are pretty vindictive too... I'm not saying it can't be done but it's not as easy as you make it out to be... Some are better at it then others...

I remember a pair of friends that lived together and when they broke up neither of them could afford to live on their own and had noone that would take on the committment of putting em up until they found their own places... as they parted somewhat amicably they decided to try and make the living situation work... This became a huge problem when one of them started dating again... Not always fun knowing someone you had feelings for or still do is just getting pounded in the room next to yours by some stranger... They fought about that too among other things as they were not as willing to overlook some of the annoying things they once did for eachother... one of em eventually gave up their life here and moved back home and the other stayed there til the boot came looking for em and really had to find some place to stay...

Emotions are high when breakups come and when you've been in a committed relationship for awhile it's hard to be reasonable and divy everything up again and move on...

Thing is, in my eyes, if it's so bad that it's what you complain about to coworkers with whom you only interact at work...it's either gotten pretty bad or you're just the kind of person who likes to ***. In the later case, well, whatever. But in the case of the former, I'd think it'd be worth going through the hassle to get out of that kind of relationship.
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