*watches Nik while eating popcorn*
PARKER when you finish stomping skully... trim the first 30 seconds off this video....
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Because even with my lofty doctoral degree in advanced diabolical engineering and applied sciences... I can not come to terms with this mayonnaise on sausage enigma magnus has burdened me with...
Do even the freaky-deaky-dutch put mayonnaise on sausages?....
probably those dutch ***... Perhaps that is the answer...
/bangs gavel
MANUS MAGNUSSON! this court finds you under suspicion of being DUTCH! How do you plea!?
PARKER!!! Draw a pentacle on the floor I must commune with the deceased and call upon the unholy power of
BETTY BLADE!!!
/performs satanic rituals while you reacquaint yourself.
hither comes the manslayer
Betty Blade <thunderclap>
all glory and honor to Betty Blade, high priestess of the first church of satan, charter president of the Dykes on Bikes motorcycle gang. A warrior and a legend. Named for her glistening bowie knives. She was always armed with guns and knives though rarely did she have any need for weapons.
I watched her suffocate a man with ONE ARM and her BOOB until he went limp and then she tossed him aside like a garbage bag. He bumped into her on the sidewalk while her and I were talking... She was not to be trifled with and did not suffer fools at all.
But I loved hanging out with her and listening to her stories...
She reached a pinnacle of cool that will not be attained again in our lifetimes.
As she spoke I pictured her in another place and time... She would have been a Viking Chieftain, leading her pack of leather clad amazonian superlesbians into battle against the awestruck country folk of the bog lands... leaving nothing but the smell of burning peat and rivers of blood.
We were laughing about how one of her girls named Jen kicked some skinheads *** the other day...He was a douche. I assured her that if he showed his face around town we would punish him as well.
Then some asswipes slowed their car to a crawl and made some idiotic comment out the window to her.. She laughed softly as a wave of pleasure ripped through her. oh hoho.. come to momma, pretty boys, have I got something for you.... /coy smile she was so calm... She spoke those lines like a seductress, I think see she was fully aroused, tempting them, baiting them, begging them to stop the car....
All I could do was watch in horror. I knew what was coming for them, but how could they? She had her hands on her hips, with that come hither stare.. but I knew her hands were really resting calmly on the handle of that massive blade... maybe my expression gave it away. The passenger caught my eye and then they sped away. Oh well, she sighed, I guess they heard their mommies calling them.....that's too bad... now where was I?
About to kill two dumbasses, I thought to myself, after raping them... she would have dragged them into the tall grass by the train tracks we were standing near and smothered them to death, riding their faces like a cocaine cowgirl, smashing their heads into the gravel, drowning their stupidity with her 400 pound vag I had heard the stories /shudder
Then the guy she boob choked came too, I think we had both forgotten about him when those *** drove by. He stumbled around a bit wondering what had happened... She helped him up, hugged him, kissed him on the forehead and then threw him back down on the sidewalk...
I left her to her "work"... Well, you look busy, I said with a laugh, so I'll leave you to it. Have a good night!!
It's always like this she said, these boys can't get enough of me!
Goodnight Betty, you beautiful monster.
And so it has come to pass that Betty Blade has carried her battle against all of mankind into the afterlife. Legends like hers are not born, they are forged in the fire of adversity. And I believe her first opponent was none other than Odin himself who she quickly boob choked and then stole Sleipnir away from him...
Using her dark powers she fused the beast with a motorcycle that she rides across the night skies... it's painted with a black acid that burns the hand of anyone foolish enough to touch it, their arms burn away like a fast fuse until it reaches the body which explodes like a bomb...
I can see her now, with her uncountable army of slaves behind her cutting a swath across the heavens with terror... chain whipping all of the things into submission.
Betty Brunnhilde Blade. Valkyrie of Vengeance, Goddess of the Grave. I beseech thee!! Ride to us in all your glory and punish the guilty.
Magnus is the one! He put Mayonnaise on a Sausage
claim him! claim his soul!
/doesn't get an answer
damn, I would give almost anything to be able to call her up and send her over to mag's place for a visit... My words will never be able to do her justice.
You should have seen her. she could clear a bar by herself, not that she needed to. She had a gang that would have scared the mortal ***out of the entire NFL
I'm sorry to tell you this brother said an old friend not long ago
but betty is gone he said sadly. I loved her too...his eyes filling with tears...
don't feel bad for her brother,
or for me...
or yourself.
She has gone beyond us now
but
she will always be with us...
if you must feel, have pity for those poor fools in hell...they have no idea what is
coming /shudder
she probably has satan by the neck already, riding him around like one of those pony sticks.. poor ***
it's not just the awkwardness of getting knocked out by a chick... NO, she always took it further... to humiliation. She made kicking dudes *** look easy... and she enjoyed it immensely. I never once saw her back down. She was on a path most mortals fear to look at. a path of glory.
I wonder... will there be any hell left for the rest of us when she has had her fill?
We'll see soon enough...
I'm trying to picture some sort of hideous passenger train packed full of people and napalm wrecking into a chemical plant with an atom bomb going off in the background .. it's hard to imagine what it will be like after she grabs hell by the balls and turns it inside out... laughing the whole time.
/takes off top hat