FFXIAH Linkshell Ni

I should watch that again. I love 'Almost Famous'.

one fine sunday morning after another long weekend party I awoke to find a large bearded weirdo still hanging around our humble abode. He was clearly too old to be hanging around a bunch of young kids but these things were rarely questioned.

He claimed to have once been a roadie for MC5, not that those credentials were likely to impress anyone... However, he did do something that impressed us all.... that morning, he miraculously pulled a full 40oz bottle of beer out the refrigerator, slammed it and then said "Ahhhh...Now I can face the day!" and left.

Now the impressive part wasn't that he downed a 40oz at nine in the morning in about ten seconds, no, the impressive part was that he had somehow managed to hide a beer of that size within our own fridge so well that nobody had found it during the night and drunk it off.

You have to understand that no less than thirty thirsty freaks had scoured that fridge top to bottom as the wee hours of morning approached looking for one last beer to slake their never ending thirst before passing out.

Alcohol, in any form, had previously never before ever seen the light of the next morning in our house, especially not in our own fridge. How he pulled this off is perhaps the greatest mystery I had, to that point, ever witnessed. What kind of mystical sorcery he used was never discovered... We never saw that bearded stranger again... but for the rest of our time there not a night went by that was devoid of one of the brothers searching the fridge frantically and in vane for another magical 40oz bottle of beer.

Perhaps you are picturing your own fridge at home, filled with wonderful food and drinks thinking how easily a beer of that size could be tucked behind something within. You don't understand!

There wasn't anything in our fridge to hide anything behind! It was empty! No less than twelve starving delinquents lived there and perhaps as many as a hundred more had passed through like an army of ants... they had spent the weekend devouring anything larger than a grain of sand that even resembled food or drink. There were kids living there that sustained themselves largely on ketchup packets and crackers stolen from Wendy's. I hid my meager food supplies like a squirrel in my room and even there it was rarely safe.

No one had ever placed anything in that fridge and expected it to be there thirty seconds later. It was a black hole! Yet here, this guy, having never been there before in his life, had somehow discovered a hiding spot suitable of concealing a gigantic 40oz bottle of beer.

While five bleary eyed punks stood around in that kitchen. We were struck with thundering awe as this magician pulled that golden bottle out of the refrigerator like Excalibur out of a stone. <angel choir sound> our dry tongues trying in vain to moisten our drier lips as our stares almost drilled a hole in the bottle as the frost glistened and the golden elixir disappeared into his furry gullet.

It was a bona fide, electrified, magicfied, genuineified, vatican confirmedified miracle.

amen