so if you are looking for entertainment in the form of boring stories, about people you don't know, in a time you weren't alive for, and a place best left forgotten... You have to wait until..... Now.
Fortunately for us, Jildo Baggins was the kind of girlfriend Donnie Vision didn't even know he needed, probably didn't want and often times failed to notice. BUT She had
things and stuff... like a car to drive him around in and enough money to crimp wavy lines in her hair and buy him food.
And an inordinate amount of free time and the unusual desire to try to
help him, whether he liked it or not, do things he didn't want to do... like find a place to live.
So to this end she befriended these two gay guys SteveandJimmy who had a quaint little blue house they rented downtown that they were looking to move out of, with plenty of room for Donnie and the rest of the band.
So a deal was struck, the girls (Jildo, schiza and melissa melissa haha meilissa) got the upstairs, the bandmates got the main floor and the even the two rooms in the dank basement were rented out..
And so, faster than Ice T can scream THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!! the quaint, little, blue, two bedroom house became a seven bedroom house with about seventeen people living there... I was one of them. We had our own band, that sucked, but we shared equipment and resources and we're good friends with the other band. I sort of became their unofficial roadie, since I had a car that ran and was going to their shows all the time anyways...
So you have to close you eyes and imagine.. It's 1987 and your cute and quiet gay neighbors that everyone loved and respected have suddenly disappeared. They have seemingly been abducted and replaced by a motley crew of pirates that never ever sleep. And the soft croon of the Smiths that used to quietly drift out of the open windows, has been replaced...with this...
smurfs on acid.
And the smurf house was born!
Donnie never did move in with Jildo, her and the other girls lasted about fifteen minutes in the chaos and insanity of living with ten to twenty filthy raving beasts that never cleaned up after themselves, rarely showered, and had somehow worked out a schedule so that at least four or five of them were always constantly making noise...
The girls all went insane early on and abandoned ship....leaving broken kitty and HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE kitty behind in the filth....
During this transition phase, Jildo Baggins became hated and despised by nearly everyone. But if it wasn't for her nagging and cajoling ways we never would have found our home. The smurf house owes her at least one last filthy brain damaged salute....
thanks jill.