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Courageous Senators Stand Up to American People
 Garuda.Chanti
Server: Garuda
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11826
By Garuda.Chanti 2013-04-22 12:19:02
From the New Yorker:
Quote: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the halls of the United States Senate, dozens of Senators congratulated themselves today for having what one of them called “the courage and grit to stand up to the overwhelming wishes of the American people.”
“We kept hearing, again and again, that ninety per cent of the American people wanted us to vote a certain way,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky). “Well, at the end of the day, we decided that we weren’t going to cave in to that kind of special-interest group.”
“It was a gut check, for sure, but we had to draw a line in the sand,” agreed Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S. Carolina). “If we had voted the way the American people wanted us to, it would have sent the message that we’re here in Washington to be nothing more than their elected representatives.”
Calling yesterday’s Senate action “a bipartisan effort,” Senator Mark Pryor (D-Arkansas) said, “This proves that on a matter that affects the safety of every man, woman, and child in the nation, we can reach across the aisle to defy the interests of all of them.”
Senator McConnell agreed that yesterday’s vote “sent a powerful message,” adding, “If the American people think that just because they voted us into office and pay our salaries, benefits, and pensions, we are somehow obliged to listen to them, they are sorely mistaken.”
One hopes this is satire.
 Cerberus.Kalyna
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 21615
By Cerberus.Kalyna 2013-04-22 12:22:07
>Senator McConnell agreed that yesterday’s vote (...) “If the American people think that just because they voted us into office and pay our salaries, benefits, and pensions, we are somehow obliged to listen to them, they are sorely mistaken.”
What the *** hell...
What vote was this for? CISPA?
 Cerberus.Pleebo
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9720
By Cerberus.Pleebo 2013-04-22 12:23:25
Yes, the Borowitz Report is (unfunny) satire.
Shiva.Arana
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1527
By Shiva.Arana 2013-04-22 12:24:41
It is indeed satire. This was posted from the same page/author
"NORTH KOREAN MISSILE TEST DELAYED BY WINDOWS 8
POSTED BY ANDY BOROWITZ"
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By Arsynz 2013-04-22 12:29:28
It's disgusting how they can never seem to pass any other bill that would actually benefit the American people, but somehow, this makes it through with little effort.
Even more disturbing is that there was incident in a certain city, involving two individuals and a marathon, just days before this was to be voted...
By Solrain 2013-04-22 12:34:22
"NORTH KOREAN MISSILE TEST DELAYED BY WINDOWS 8"
Seems legit *shrug*
Garuda.Chanti
Server: Garuda
Game: FFXI
Posts: 11826
By Garuda.Chanti 2013-04-22 13:30:12
"NORTH KOREAN MISSILE TEST DELAYED BY WINDOWS 8"
Seems legit *shrug*
Way more believable than the piece I quoted in the original post.
Odin.Liela
Server: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 10191
By Odin.Liela 2013-04-22 13:50:41
It clicked as satire the moment that they claimed that 90% of voters were a "special-interest group" as opposed to the majority. No actual news report could possibly be that silly. The remainder of the report was equally as silly. The only time it could have been questioned was in the very first paragraph.
Odin.Liela
Server: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 10191
By Odin.Liela 2013-04-22 14:06:05
Fenrir.Candlejack said: »Gun nuts are all retards, and hopefully they'll use their guns now to commit suicide and remove themselves from the population.
That's kinda rude. :-( I certainly think that background checks (and even mental health checks) should be absolutely required before a person is allowed to obtain a firearm, but not everyone who enjoys target practice or hunting is insane and they certainly don't all deserve to die, by suicide or otherwise.
 Ragnarok.Zohnax
Server: Ragnarok
Game: FFXI
Posts: 545
By Ragnarok.Zohnax 2013-04-22 14:09:08
While satirical, I could see them actually saying it. Not like anyone does anything to stop them. >_>
Server: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3351
By Fenrir.Terminus 2013-04-22 14:14:48
Fenrir.Candlejack said: »Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting different results each time. Case in point whenever the NRA "throws more guns" at problems directly caused by all the guns already freely floating around.
For example?
 Caitsith.Zahrah
Server: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
By Caitsith.Zahrah 2013-04-22 14:21:03
How many more gun threads are going to pop up on AH? Are we going for a record here or something?
Aelius even did us the favor of stickying this to the top of the Politics/Religion section.
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Bismarck.Magnuss
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 28615
By Bismarck.Magnuss 2013-04-22 14:24:26
How many more gun threads are going to pop up on AH? At least it's better than religion threads.
Still pertinent, all these years later. Needs a Scruffstache, though.
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Cerberus.Pleebo
Server: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9720
By Cerberus.Pleebo 2013-04-22 14:27:43
We haven't had a train wreck religion thread in a good while :(
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Bismarck.Magnuss
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 28615
By Bismarck.Magnuss 2013-04-22 14:31:46
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Odin.Liela
Server: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 10191
By Odin.Liela 2013-04-22 14:37:16
We haven't had a train wreck religion thread in a good while :( 
Let's make half an effort to keep it that way. xD (Why are there hardly any good dog memes? Why does it always have to be cats? ;;)
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 Bismarck.Bloodrose
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 4322
By Bismarck.Bloodrose 2013-04-22 14:40:23
I thought, given the OP, that this thread was about senators and other various political leaders, considering themselves more than "the duly elected representatives" of the people, in such a comically and farcicle manner.
Obviously, if a politician is considering themselves to be more than what they were elected to do, ie, ignoring the best interests, or collective interests of their constituents.
Which reminds me of this:
Caitsith.Zahrah
Server: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
By Caitsith.Zahrah 2013-04-22 14:44:34
We haven't had a train wreck religion thread in a good while :(
Mmmm...I recommend a glass bottle of wine to blast yourself into the cosmos for those hum-dingers!
Ride, Pegasus Children! RIDE!
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Lakshmi.Aelius
VIP
Server: Lakshmi
Game: FFXI
By Lakshmi.Aelius 2013-04-22 15:05:03
This isn't a gun thread.
From the New Yorker:
Quote: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the halls of the United States Senate, dozens of Senators congratulated themselves today for having what one of them called “the courage and grit to stand up to the overwhelming wishes of the American people.”
“We kept hearing, again and again, that ninety per cent of the American people wanted us to vote a certain way,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky). “Well, at the end of the day, we decided that we weren’t going to cave in to that kind of special-interest group.”
“It was a gut check, for sure, but we had to draw a line in the sand,” agreed Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S. Carolina). “If we had voted the way the American people wanted us to, it would have sent the message that we’re here in Washington to be nothing more than their elected representatives.”
Calling yesterday’s Senate action “a bipartisan effort,” Senator Mark Pryor (D-Arkansas) said, “This proves that on a matter that affects the safety of every man, woman, and child in the nation, we can reach across the aisle to defy the interests of all of them.”
Senator McConnell agreed that yesterday’s vote “sent a powerful message,” adding, “If the American people think that just because they voted us into office and pay our salaries, benefits, and pensions, we are somehow obliged to listen to them, they are sorely mistaken.”
One hopes this is satire.
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