If you had to, would you take a life?
Would you be able to carry that burden? That blood on your hands, forever staining them.
Which is worse? To take a life, or fail to protect one?
Here is a story. A young sailor on an Aircraft Carrier is working hard. Suddenly the ship goes into electronic lock down. No internet, no email, no sat phones, no communications with the outside world. Even the TV is cut off. We are told that 4 Americans have been taken hostage by Somali Pirates. We are then tasked with being the command ship for an operation to save the Americans. We do our best to keep our 50 year old warship in tip top shape and operating during this time, and to support the needs of a certain group of people that come on board to conduct their op. We take on special equipment, we stay clear of all sponsons and open air areas. The only way to be more secure than we were would be to go into General Quarters. We follow this hijacked boat for a few days. Then, suddenly, it's over. The pirates lose their minds and attack. The special team advances, but it's too late. By the time the Americans are brought to my ship, they are lost. The ship does it's duty, we place the bodies in the deep freeze, drape an American Flag over the entrance, and stand guard over the bodies. Though it is said we done our best, was it really enough? Could we have prevented their deaths? We are sworn to protect our country, our civillians, our way of life. And yet, we cannot even protect 4 Americans from a threat that we are forbidden from confronting without first being confronted. The killers are held on my ship for over a month, during which time they are kept hidden in the Brig and movements are restricted and secretive. Then, they are sent off. During their stay, they are cleaned, fed, and given some medical treatment. Why do we take such good care of the ones who murder, steal, and know they will do it again if ever released? To be better? To be Civilized? Some things, even if you do not have a direct hand in the literal sense, stay with you forever.
TL:DR; Memories are a *** and can creep up on you at odd times