Phone rings.
'I stopped into subway and they were kind enough to give me their address, *gives address*.
"Good thing you got that, because that's about 15 miles away from the other name you told me. You want to go South on Highway 434, then West on---"
'Which way is south?'
"The opposite of North"
'No really. I don't have a compass which way is south'
"According to this website, south is down"
'Dude...'
"Did you pass the University?"
'No, but I can see it'
"That's south. Go passed it until you reach Highway 408. You turn West on that.
'Compass..'
"Left. You turn left.
.... I mean Right. You turn Right.
'...Which is it?'
"Sorry looking at the map it's my left, but from your direction it's Right."
'... so I turn Right on that highway and that will lead me to the interstate?'
"yes"
'Sweet. thanks'