Oh. My. God.
I feel the shame of a thousand facepalms all aimed in my direction, and I am once again appalled and disgusted that I was the sperm that won. How is it even possible to be this dumb?
I have been applying everywhere for a job. EVERYWHERE. I didn't even get a single callback. I was like "I have too much experience? I have too little experience? Everyone hates English majors? I am too picky in my available hours? I smell funny? I have mustard on my shirt? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME boo-hoo sob sob etc etc"
But you can't let it get you down, right, so this morning I was applying for another one. I proofread my resume again, because I proofread my resume before I send it out every single time. And this time I noticed a little something that I didn't notice before, a little something called
"oh holy pantaloons on a peanut butter cracker on a stick I have the wrong phone number in my contact information"
That's right. I flip-flopped two of the digits in my phone number. If any potential employee tried to call me they'd get a wrong number.
Oh, and then I sent my husband to work with a nicely packed lunch consisting of homemade pot pie which he will have to heat up in his microwave at work... in a container that cannot be microwaved. I shoulda stayed in bed.
Only one thing left to do to this day! Fight it head-on!