Most awkward ever :x
I took the dogs out and the neighbor lady and her kid are outside. He's like 3 or 4 I think, I'm bad at judging kids' ages. But he can walk and talk and is a little less than waist-high tall. Anyhow, the mom is out there drinking a can of beer and chatting to the maintenance guy. The kid is running all over being a kid.
We stepped out and he ran up to the dogs, I held them back so he could pet them without getting jumped on. They're vicious, they'll jump and lick ya right to death. The mom notices that he's petting my pooches and runs over to make sure he does it right. So she shoos him back to their porch, and I walk partway down the courtyard. He gets up and runs around the corner of the building. So she runs off and carts him back, and this goes on several times for the next few minutes. She drags him back and sits down, he gets up and runs off again around the corner, she gets up and chases him bellowing all the way.
Anyhow, so we moved one courtyard over because Pixel just cannot go if she's distracted, and she loves kids. They distract her to no end.
In the other courtyard we're derping around, sniffing for just the perfect-smelling spot to disgrace with bathroom duties, and I hear the mother shriek all the way in this other courtyard:
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHY DID YOU PUSH THAT OVER? THAT WAS MY BEER! THAT WAS MINE!"
So sneaky like a ninja I ease back around the corner to see what's going on, and she's smacking this kid over and over on his butt because he kicked her beer over. Erk.
So she picks him up and turns to the maintenance guy and says "Thanks for coming over to hang out, you're the best to hang out with. I'm going to take him in now and change his diaper." And I almost fell over because I had no idea kids that big were supposed to still wear diapers. Well heck, I've never hung around kids much before, I have no idea when diapers stop being the norm. So I'm still creeping like a ninja, she hauls the kid inside with him crying the whole way that he wants to stay out, and the look on the maintenance guy's face was priceless. It was just this half-confused thoughtful look, and I swear he was wondering if it was worth it to get close enough to play hanky-panky with the mom with that kid running around, or if he should go find a lady that didn't have kids.
Yeah, and the other day there was some other guy in bedroom slippers and a robe wandering around in the courtyard. I hope he knows that's officially the dog-poop zone. Poor slippers.