Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

On Tuesday I was accused of being a bigot. I was accused of this because I said “I do not think being gay is something to be proud about”. I suppose its my fault. I should know better than to expect to respond with more than one sentence when someone holding a giant multicolored poster board yells a question to me while I walk past. I’m writing this with hopes that you will print this in next weeks issue of the union so my accuser might read this and get the complete answer to his question.

As anyone that walked by the LA-5 on Tuesday could tell you, there was a group of people gathered to show their support for the gay pride movement. They showed their support by wearing gaudy rainbow colored shirts, yelling “I’m proud to be gay” and bothering any person that had the audacity to walk by them without voicing support for the issue. That’s how I ended up being called a bigot.

So, speaking to my accuser, I didn’t mean to avoid your stares. I just wanted to get to class. I didn’t intend to disagree with you. I didn’t even intend to talk with you until you stepped in front of one of the two LA5 doors and caused a traffic jam as 50 people tried to funnel through one door. As I said I’m the person that responded “I’m not” when you yelled “I’m proud to be gay” at me from two feet away.

I said this because its true. I am gay, and I don’t feel any particular sense of pride about the fact. I also have hazel eyes, white skin, and blonde hair. I’m not proud of having any of those traits either. I did not choose to be gay, so to feel proud about it seems silly. Its simply a fact of my life. Strait people do not feel the need to shout “I LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX” at well meaning strangers. What I am proud of is being honest with myself. This includes accepting I am gay.

I imagine if you had let me talk and have this conversation, at this point you would say to me “Stop being a grammar Nazi, that’s the same thing as being proud to be gay.” But it isn’t. I am proud that when I realized I was gay, I came out of the closet and was open about it. I am proud I can take a guy out to dinner without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. I’m proud of these things because they are actions I have to do, despite adversity or prejudice on the subject. Proud because it proves that myself and others can fight a force trying to change us.

If I were to say I am proud to be gay, I would be defining myself as being gay. I would be saying that it was some amazing part of my life. Its not. So, I am not proud to be gay. I am proud to be me, and I happen to be gay. And honestly, I feel my thinking is more consistent with the gay pride movement than any of the overused slogans you shouted at me. Its more understandable, more universal, and more personally empowering.

It speaks to your audience. It makes them relate. Everyone has at some point or another done something they were proud of. Everyone has something that made them different they overcame or accepted. The fact we are a minority fighting for equality doesn’t make us unique. It doesn’t make us better than the majority. It doesn’t give us the right to verbally assault strangers walking to their math classes.

If anything, it makes us weak. It makes us need friends, and support. It makes us the underdog who only wins because all of the other underdogs cheer us on for the entire fight. So next time you want to stand on the corner and call people bigots, remember this: the people you are bothering and insulting are your only hope. They are the ones that will remember how you separated yourself off into a little rainbow colored group; how you yelled and insulted and bullied. They will feel alone, and you will wonder why they don’t accept and support you. And I wont fault them because Tuesday, your actions didn’t make me proud to be gay. They made me ashamed.

"Gay pride" isn't about having some kind of mighty feeling about being gay, tbh being gay sucks quite a lot. It's a pride in front of that specific part of society that shuns you and tells you(quite loudly)that you should be ashamed of yourself for being gay - no, I'm proud of what I am despite your hate on the matter. That's what gay pride means. The pride of people that don't want to be stepped on the head by homophobics.
About specific people and their way to manifest it I can't comment, if you found yourself assaulted or something then you have right to complain. I remember that I did wear a rainbow flag around my waist in highschool during gaypride, but it wasn't to say "hey look at me I'm gay"(although gay pride is a great chance for getting laid admittedly), but to show support in a quiet and respectful way. Too bad school principal(well known fascist who enjoyed praising Mussolini) disagreed and suspended me for doing that. But I digress.

Edit: the place where I live and the experiences I've had, all have made me quite bitter on the matter.