Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

Back in the eighties when crack was king I was living on the second floor of an apartment complex and working my way through school as a garbageman. The police showed up one late afternoon and tried to break my door down but couldn't. I had it baracaded because it was a crappy neighborhood and I am paranoid. I yelled at them to calm down then I opened the door for them. They were at the wrong address of course and after I pointed out their mistake to them and told them the people they were looking for weren't home they left, saying they would be back. They were clearly embarrased they had failed to gain access to my apartment through force and not in the mood for small talk.

They were looking for my neighbors that lived below me. I knew they weren't home because they always had the music up to wall shaking volume and had a penchant for assslapping the crap out the women they brought home to screw. The party went on every night, all night. When I saw my neighbors later that evening lugging cases of beer into their place I warned them that the cops showed up and were looking for them but they seemed unfazed and blew it off. As always thier nightly party soon kicked into full swing.

The next morning I was casually sipping my morning coffee on my tiny deck at the buttcrack of dawn when the SWAT team and every cop in the tri-state area showed up. (like the end of the Blues Brothers movie) It was so dark still I don't even think they noticed I was sitting there watching them move with fluid precision into position. I remember thinking "Jebus, I sure hope they get the right F*****g door this time..." And then 1, 2, 3 KABOOOM it sounded like the whole building exploded. The shockwave caused me to grab the handrailing and I thought for sure my tiny patio was going to break away and fall on top of them. They completly obliterated the neighbor's front door(which probably wasnt even locked)including the frame, the patio door directly below me and the bedroom window all at precicely the same time. After alot of screaming they dragged my neighbors and all their party guests buck nekid across the courtyard to the parking lot and into the back of the paddy waggon and then I went back inside to finish getting ready for work. "what the **** was that?!?!?" exclaimed my wife as I came back inside.. Oh it's nothing dear, go back to sleep... the cops just came back for the neighbors...

Epilogue
After work it was light enough to grasp the magnificent amount of finely orchistrated property damage that had occured. It looked like three bombs had gone off inwardly towards whatever was once inside. Looking in beyond the yellow tape where the wall used to be I couldn't clearly identify any singular object. It had all been trampled by a herd of rhinocerouses on qualudes.

My wife also saw it and started looking for a new apartment....