i wish i had an easy answer for how to resolve the situation. i cut a lot of people out of my life because once i got into a point i had to "grow up" i had a lot of friends who became resentful. i wanted to elevate my life and tried to help them do the same. they didn't wanna grow. their attitude made me become frustrated and disappointed in the way they were living. eventually the dissonance in our realities became such that "we've been friends forever" didn't cut it.
That was part of it, but I was able to drill even deeper than that and realized that it all just stems from a lack of respect altogether. It's a trait they all share, with some worse than others. The way in which people like that "refuse to grow up" is that everything is an inconvenience to them. Like children, they require an authority figure to dictate what's right and wrong. And then they throw a tantrum when their mom takes away the PS5 she bought them because they still haven't taken their dirty dishes upstairs.
The concept of friends is one of the most overestimated ever imo.
Most people are cautious before calling someone else like it is a specification reserved to people who met certains requisites.
The thing is that most of those requisites can be interpreted as a second father/mother with characteristics of a pet. Someone who unconditionally cares about you and support you. Someone who will forgive you for your mistakes while helping you for any and everything.
Funny thing though, when ones define a “friend”, generally they picture themselves as a person who constantly fails, but that would mean the supposed relationship with a friend is unbalanced. That means, the friend is a friend to the one who fails, but the same rule wouldnt apply in reverse.
All that to say: you shouldnt think that hard about the concept of friend. Its perfectly valid considering someone you just hangout here and there as a friend. Someone who shares same interests as a friend. Someone that you bother remembering the name as a friend.
This is going to sound weird, but I see everything in life as a series of bars like HP and MP. One such gauge everyone has is a level of respect from me. It starts out actually pretty high, and often doesn't dip below that point no matter how awful of a person they are, because I can empathize that "everyone is going through something". Only very recently have I allowed those gauges to start slowly dropping below that minimum threshold, because I've finally realized that respect is a two-way street.
There comes a point where hanging out with people
is worse than not hanging out with people. To not show respect once or twice is fine, because everyone's got trauma. But part of being a grown-up is respecting other people's trauma and to better yourself and others around you.
A friend is someone whose boundaries you've learned. It's someone with whom you can have a good time without having to tread lightly. I feel like I always have to walk on eggshells around the Thumpers. I can't talk about achievements like my career because none of them have careers. I can't talk about my interests because their interests are 'better'. I can't talk about FFXI or XIV because it always turns into bullying. I can't even talk about the news or politics because one of them is an extremist who gets triggered into an angry, hours-long rant at the slightest provocation. No one can really talk about anything.