So... the wife wants a gun for christmas, gonna go shopping for one tomorrow. Looking for a basic handgun for home defense (neither of us are looking for a conceal and carry). Think I got it narrowed down to the Smith and Wesson SD line, just dunno if I should go with the 9mm or the .40 s&w.
I'd say 9 mil unless your wife can handle the kick of a .40.
From my understanding the .40 s&w doesn't kick much more than a 9mm. She has never shot a gun in her life, so regardless it will be a new experience for her.
I'm going to use an analogy to explain my stance on that.
Do you remember those old Nokia phones? Y'know, the stick. There was one game on there: Snake. When I first got the game, I played it on easy mode and that alone was difficult for me. Then one day I decided to try it on hard mode and I got my *** kicked. I left it alone for a while, then started on hard mode. At first, it was frustrating as time and again I would crash into a wall or myself. I might get one or two pixel apple things, but it didn't last long. However, after a while I got used to it and next thing I knew, I was kicking ***.
I tried easy mode again, and it felt slow and boring. I couldn't go back to it.
What I'm saying here is, if you give her the tougher one first, she'll get used to it to the point where eventually the 9 mil won't be enough.
Adversely, the safe bet wouldn't hurt.